


Silenced

by CarlyWrites



Series: Natasha and Wanda [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Awesome Natasha Romanov, BAMF Natasha Romanov, Brainwashing, Christmas Fluff, Christmas Party, Clint Barton & Natasha Romanov Friendship, Deaf Clint Barton, Domestic Avengers, Gen, Holidays, Hurt Natasha Romanov, Injury Recovery, Kid Wanda Maximoff, Major Character Injury, Mind Control Aftermath & Recovery, Minor Bruce Banner/Natasha Romanov, Missions Gone Wrong, Mute - Freeform, Muteness, Mutism, Natasha Romanov Has Issues, Natasha Romanov Is Not A Robot, Natasha Romanov-centric, Not Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Compliant, POV First Person, POV Natasha Romanov, Past Brainwashing, Protective Natasha Romanov, Telepathic Wanda Maximoff, Thanksgiving Dinner, Wanda Maximoff & Natasha Romanov Friendship, Wanda Maximoff & Peter Parker Friendship, Wanda Maximoff Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-26
Updated: 2020-02-08
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:15:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 25,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22410862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CarlyWrites/pseuds/CarlyWrites
Summary: **Currently Under Revision** After a mission gone wrong, Natasha is left silenced. No longer able to speak, she must rediscover how to be a member of the team. Clint had left months ago, and Natasha feels isolated. Wanda, who blames herself for Natasha's state, takes it upon herself to protect Black Widow. However, tables quickly turn and Natasha finds herself caring for the young witch as she struggles with being an Avenger. There will be a few chapters of domestic Avengers. Not CACW compliantPart 2 of the Natasha and Wanda SeriesPlease see series page for a timeline
Relationships: Clint Barton & Natasha Romanov, Clint Barton & Peter Parker & Natasha Romanov, Clint Barton & Wanda Maximoff & Natasha Romanov, Clint Barton/Laura Barton, Pepper Potts & Natasha Romanov, Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Peter Parker & Tony Stark, Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov, Wanda Maximoff & Natasha Romanov, Wanda Maximoff & Peter Parker
Series: Natasha and Wanda [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1615924
Comments: 24
Kudos: 155





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! Hope you enjoy! Any feedback is welcomed!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 1 Revised at of 9/21/20

I blink open my eyes. Clint is pacing back and forth at the foot of the bed. Every few seconds, he runs his fingers through his hair.   
“Shit, shit, shit,” He mumbles to himself, pausing. I try to speak up, to say something to him, but my thoughts are sluggish. I feel myself drift off.   
When I open my eyes once more, he is sitting next to me. Dark circles rim his eyes and coffee stains his white t-shirt. We are in a hospital room at the compound. The familiar too-clean air is pungent, and there is a gentle whirring of machines, accompanied by the irritating steadiness of a heart monitor. Better than it being erratic, I suppose.   
“Hey,” he signs with a tired smile, “Welcome back,” I try to sit up, gasping in pain, “Don’t move, okay? You’re going to be okay,” He presses his lips together. Fear is something I have rarely seen Clint exhibit, and it causes a knot to form in my stomach. I open my mouth to speak but he shakes his head quickly. For the first time, I notice the dull throbbing on my throat. I reach up to touch it, but he grabs my hands, pulling them down. He holds steady against my glare.   
There is a knock at the door, and it swings open a moment later. Cap and Dr. Fine walk in, both looking just as worn out as Clint. Before I can try to speak, Steve jumps in.   
“Don’t try and talk, okay?” He rubs the back of his head.   
“Miss Romanoff, do you remember your last mission?” Dr. Fine asks. I look to Clint.   
“Can I at least sign?” Clint doesn’t laugh, but agrees to dictate, “I was with Wanda in South Korea, we were trying to stop the North Koreans from launching missiles,” Clint’s voice is a hair too quiet as he speaks, hesitant and missing his usual inflections. I can’t imagine it is easy for him to be here, to be back. It occurs to me now that I must have been closer to death than usual for him to come to the compound.   
“Yes,” Dr. Fine nods, seeming encouraged by my answer, “Do you remember what happened on the mission?” My thoughts whir, trying to produce something. It comes in violent flashes.  
“Wanda was surrounded by five guys, I killed one of them,” Then there was a sharp pain that dragged across my throat. I look over to Cap, he won’t meet my eyes. Something went wrong. Dr. Fine clears his throat.   
“You were steps away from Doctor Cho’s office, she was able to rebuild your trachea,” I can hear the ‘but’ lingering in his voice, “You didn’t react well to the procedure, your body began to reject it after the initial repair,” He explains. I think of Clint’s wounded abdomen, how they were able to fix it no problem just a year ago.  
“Natasha?” I blink, they look concerned. I must’ve zoned out, drifted. I am on a lot of drugs; I can feel them coursing through me.  
“We were able to repair your trachea, however,” I look over to Steve, this doctor is taking too long.  
“Your vocal cords were completely severed. It is a miracle you’re alive, Nat.” There is some kind of desperate pleading in his voice. They are all staring at me, as if expecting me to throw something. Or perhaps have a breakdown. But I feel nothing, numb. I look to Clint.  
“Deaf and mute, irony, right?” Again, he doesn’t laugh. In fact, there is not a single trace of the humor that normally sparkles in Clint’s eye. None of the teasing lightness that I have come to know. It is rare for him to be so sullen. I must have been at death’s doorstep.   
“You’re healing at your normal accelerated pace,” the doctor adds, “I would expect a majority of your wounds to be healed within a few days.”   
“Tony is looking for Bruce, if anyone can fix it, they can,” Cap assures. They all fall into an awkward silence. This would normally be the time for me to add to the conversation. To offer up another solution.   
“Can I get the room?” Clint asks, his voice a little too loud. There are promises to check in on me later, and to rest up, before it is just me and my best friend. His sigh gives away how large of a burden he has been bearing.   
“You should be home with Laura and the kids,” I scold.   
“Tash, you almost died,”  
“But I didn’t.” This hangs in the air for a moment. My eyelids feel heavy. Even breathing seems to be too much work right now.   
“Your façade is slipping,” He replies, “It’s just me. You don’t have to hide behind a mask.” I feel my heartbeat quicken, and the machine gives me away. Madame B would be furious. I force it to slow down. “You’re allowed to not be okay,” he signs. I close my eyes, resting back into the pillows.   
He doesn’t nudge me to open my eyes or tell me to stop being a coward. Instead, I hear him settle down into the armchair next to my bed, waiting me out. A battle of wills.

* * *

My eyes fly open, and I open my mouth, struggling to breathe. No air comes in nor out. I claw at my neck, trying to find the source of the blockage.   
“Natasha?” Clint’s face swims in front of me.  
“Oxygen levels and BP is dropping,” a nurse presses a button and soon the room is filled with white lab coats. My panic increases. “We need to intubate,” there is a sharp pain as a tube slides down my throat, “Left lung has collapsed, prep OR one for surgery.” I feel a knife slice my side and a something is jammed into the wound. Instantly, my lungs fill with air. This lasts only for a second. Something isn’t right. Once again, oxygen evades me. Black dots fill my vision, until they are all I see.   
When I awake once more, I am alone. My only company is machines, and all they do is deny me silence. I search for any sign of Clint and spot his sweatshirt on the chair. He hasn’t left the compound.   
“Nat, you’re awake,” I look over to the door, Steve is in the threshold, his large frame taking up most of it. He holds a teddy bear with a foil balloon that reads _Get Well Soon_. It is equal parts cheesy and endearing. Steve begins to answer my questions before I can formulate them in my mind, “You’ve been out for two days. Clint went to take a shower; it is the first time we’ve gotten him to leave the room.” He steps inside, placing the bear on the nightstand, “We’re at the compound, your surgery went well. They can move you down to your suite tomorrow.” I take in the flood of information, surprised that in my impaired state, I was able to keep up. I have more questions, though no others so pressing. It would not be much use if they were important, Cap doesn’t know sign language, and I don’t have a pen.   
“She is awake and you didn’t call me? I had to find out from Friday?” Clint storms into the room, signing and yelling at the same time.   
“She just woke up,” Cap replies coolly, making sure he is looking at Clint when he speaks. There is some obvious tension between the two right now. Normally, Wanda would be rolling her eyes at the bickering. Wanda. Oh my God. I forgot to check. Did she make it out? Where is she? I struggle to get up, and my movements distract the pair.   
“Nat, hey what’s wrong?”   
“Wanda,” I sign quickly, using the sign Clint developed for her. “Where is she? Is she okay?” The girl is young, just sixteen. She was fighting so many, and I left her there.   
“She is fine, mild concussion,” Clint assures me, reclaiming his seat.   
“Wanda’s sorry, she’s blaming herself. I don’t think she has left her room since medical released her,”   
“Why were they alone?” Clint hisses, glaring at Steve, “Where was backup?”  
“We were on our way,” he replies stiffly, barely suppressing his anger. Though I don’t know if it is truly directed towards Clint.   
“You were too late.” Clint’s tone carries a finality, no room for debate.  
“Don’t you think I know that?” Steve’s jaw twitches, desperation bleeding through. “I have to go finish the mission report. I’m glad your awake, Nat.” The door slams behind him, and a crack runs through the manufactured wood.   
I look over to Clint, who is barely holding it together. He has finally changed into fresh clothes, though they are wrinkled, and I am fairly certain the t-shirt is on backwards.   
“How bad was I, really?” I find the courage to ask. What does it take for Wanda to hide in her room, Steve to be exploding in anger, and for Clint to look so heartbroken?  
“They called me to come and say my goodbyes.” I bite my lip. “When I got here, they had just finished your surgery, they weren’t sure you were going to last the night.”  
“How long was I out for the first time?”  
“Six days. But none of that matters, you’re going to be fine.” He places his hands on mine and I can feel them shaking.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi y'all! Hoped you enjoyed chapter 1! Just want to add that when Nat is talking, she is using sign language unless otherwise stated, thank you!

I lie in bed, trying to find the energy to make it to the bathroom. It had been a week since my lung collapsed. I move slowly, my body aching. In the bathroom, I inspect my appearance closely for the first time. I remove the gauze on my neck and wince at the sight of twenty-eight stitches stretching across my throat. The bruises on my face and shoulders have faded to yellow. I pull up my t-shirt and work on changing dressing on my chest. I walk back into my room. Clint is standing by the window. I hit my desk to get his attention, but he doesn’t turn around. Dumbass isn’t wearing his hearing aids. I collapse onto the couch and throw a pillow at him. It hits the back of his head.  
“Sorry,” he sits next to me on the couch, “They were bothering me,”  
“Not like you need them to talk to me anyways,” I reply. He doesn’t like that. “Clint, you need to go home. Be with your family.” He shakes his head. “Go home, you hate being cooped up like this.”  
“So do you,”  
“I don’t have a choice right now.” I quip.  
“Nat,”  
“Give them my best, okay? I’ll come for Halloween, Lila told me on the Fourth of July that she is planning a group costume for us,”  
“You’re okay?”  
“I’m okay,” he nods and gets up. “I’ll see you soon, okay? Three weeks will fly by.”

* * *

“This is bullshit,” I rest on a bench, trying to ignore how winded I am. Sam sits down next to me.  
“It has only been two weeks since you got home, you can’t expect to be back in fighting shape.” Sam had learned only three phrases so far from me: bullshit, fuck off, and turn off the lights. I stand back up shakily, “You should be taking it slow. I know you have advanced healing or whatever, but,”  
“Fuck off.” I begin making my way back to the front door. Tony returned last night, sans Bruce. He brought apologies and a plan, though I have my doubts. Since his arrival, he is yet to leave his lab. I have read _The Art of War_ twice and _Anna Karenina_ once.  
A few days later, I take my first walk alone. It is nice, to not have someone trying to fill the obvious silence. I spot her behind a tree, hiding. She follows quietly, trying her best to use tactics we practiced before South Korea. However, she does not approach me. For more than two weeks, Wanda has been standing guard outside my door. Every time I try to meet her eyes, she looks away. She won’t give me the opportunity to communicate with her.  
Just as my three weeks of probation come to a close, I feel a tickle in my chest. It turns into wheezing and coughing that Steve reports to the doctor.  
“Take a deep breath,” the doctor commands.  
“How does she sound?” I glare at Cap. This is all his fault.  
“You’ve got a chest cold, given your compromised state, I cannot let you leave the compound. this could easily become pneumonia if you don’t rest.” I shake my head.  
“Nat, you’re supposed to be back in the field next week. You can’t do that if you’re sick.” Steve rests a hand on my shoulder, “I’ll let Clint know, okay? They’ll understand.” He and the doctor leave. I grab my lamp and chuck it at the wall. It shatters on impact, and I feel the tension in my shoulders lessen.  
“Are you okay?” A head pokes in. This is the first time Wanda had spoken to me in a month. “Sorry, I heard a crash, wanted to make sure everything is all right.” Everything was obviously not all right. I feel alone. Completely alone. Clint is gone. Tony only leaves his lab when Pepper visits from Malibu on weekends. Sam is off on some mission in the Middle East. Steve always has some sort of meeting. I never know where Vision is. Up until this point, Wanda wouldn’t talk to me. We had become close this past year, especially once Clint left. Her accent is completely gone, after hours a day of training. I had been an excellent vocal coach, irony striking again. “Sorry, I’ll go,” she turns to leave. I smack the wall. She turns around. I reach for my phone and type into my phone, then Siri reads it out.  
“Update on everyone?”  
“Oh, it’s been pretty quiet around here. No exciting missions or anything. Unless you count Vision trying to learn to cook.” She stops, breathless. “I’m sorry, this is all my fault.”  
“I got distracted,” I type.  
“Because of me! You were busy protecting me,” I place my hand on hers and shake my head. “I will never forgive myself.” I want to comfort the little witch. I grab her chin and tilt it up, so she is looking at me. Her big eyes are sad. I point to her and sign a W and then a wand. “I’m sorry, I don’t understand,” she sniffles, tears drying. I try again, pointing to her and then doing the signs again, this time bigger and slower. “Oh, my name,” her smile is small, but there.  
“Clint came up with it,” Siri reads, “The letter W and then the sign for wand.” She laughs.  
“Witch, wand, Wanda. Clever,” I can feel my eyelids drooping. “I’ll let you get some sleep,”


	3. Chapter 3

The first mission back does not go well. There is a lot we didn’t plan for. I am slumped over in my seat, cradling my shoulder.  
“Sorry, we should have had a better extraction plan.” I nod, turning to Cap. I gesture to my shoulder. He shakes his head, “No, medical needs to look it, could be broken.”  
I glare at him and grab my arm, popping it back in myself. A gasp escapes, its silent.  
“Next time we will listen for the Morse code on the coms,” Wanda apologizes as well.  
“Perhaps it is best if Agent Romanoff not come along,” Vision offers. Wanda shoots him a look.  
“That’s not going to happen, Nat. You’re our best agent, we aren’t benching you.” Steve assures me. I nod my head, forcing myself not to agree with Vision. Am I compromised? Am I a liability? We land back at headquarters. Wanda grabs Vision and pulls him off the jet before Steve or I have the chance to get up. “You are just as important to this team as you were before. Vis still has a lot to learn. I’m happy you are back.”  
I wake up in the morning to Wanda standing over me. She is wearing athletic clothes and her hair is up in a ponytail.  
“Come, we train.” I raise eyebrows. “We have to train,” she corrects herself. I climb out of bed and change into my catsuit, following her down to the gym. Normally Sam can be found here, but he won’t be back for another six weeks. I look over to Wanda. “We need to practice, I have been slacking.” She wraps her hands. “I don’t want to get rusty.” I nod and drop down into a fighting stance. We begin. After two hours of sparring, we collapse to the ground, exhausted. “So good,” she huffs, “Feels so good.” She looks over at me with a smile. “Do you feel good?” I smile. “Good.” She closes her eyes for a moment before jumping back up. “I am going to make breakfast.” I want to tell her she did well, I was impressed. She has improved. I follow her to the kitchen.  
“Vision?” I mouth.  
“Tony sent him on some kind of mission. I don’t know. We are in a fight.” I look down at my coffee. “Oh, not your fault. We kind of fought before the mission. I want to go to high school; he think it’s a bad idea. A whole thing.” She waves the spatula in the air. I forget she is just a kid, literally. She should be a few months into her junior year. I will talk to Tony about that. She finishes the eggs and hands me a plate. “I want to go to a dance. I know it’s ridiculous.” She blushes. I shake my head. Not ridiculous, not even a little bit. “You are all great teachers, I have learned more here than I could learn in high school, but,” she trails off. She is right, she learns more here than in school, but there is no one her age here. No friends or boys. “I am currently working on a translation of _Dream of the Red Chamber_ like you asked a few months ago, I should be done by Christmas.” I give her a nod. She takes my plate and begins to wash it. It is nice to move onto semi-solid foods and away from shakes. If I have one more protein shake, I may die. “Vis and I have been practicing my control, so far I have managed to not blow up anything or anyone.” She puts the plates back in the cabinet. “I am going to go work on that translation, I’ll see you later,” she disappears down the hall with a smile.

* * *

I am wearing a high neck gown, covering my scar. However, the back makes up for the modest front. Wanda sits on the edge of the tub, watching me do my makeup. I had already finished hers.  
“It’s like prom,” the girl sighs happily. At thirty-one, I’m closest to her age out of everyone. Looking at me, no one would think I’m a day over twenty-four. I try not to think about What experiment the Red Room did on me to make that true. I place my com in my ear and leave the bathroom. The hotel lobby and ballroom will be filled by now with partygoers. I can already feel my energy depleting. This recovery is taking longer than they normally do. I hate to admit it, but it is probably the mental aspect of it all. The isolation. Steve tried to learn sign language but couldn’t get the hang of it. Wanda was trying, she had a few phrases down. Tony is either gone or in the lab. Vision had been avoiding her since the awkward interaction after the first mission.  
“You and Clint used to do these types of missions, right? Before the Avengers?” I nod and slide my phone in my clutch. We reach the lobby and separate. I go to the bar and point on the menu to a cosmopolitan. I hold it in my hand, watching the crowd. Then I spot the target. Weapons dealer. A bad guy with a love for pretty women. I wave at him, flirting. His eyes light up. I take his hand and we dance. Thankfully, the room is loud and there is no space for conversation. The song ends and I grab his hand with a flirtatious smile, leading him down the hall. He should be more careful with the kind of company he keeps. I apprehend him quickly and use his tie to secure him to an 18th century couch.  
“Widow we lost eyes on you,” I take out of my phone and have Siri speak.  
“East Wing outside ballroom.” I sit on the other side of the chaise, tired. He starts to squirm, and I give him a quick punch, knocking him out.  
“Why is he unconscious? Was there a problem?” I shrug and fix my lipstick in the mirror on the wall. “That was fast, you’re getting good at this,” I snort. I had always been good at this. “I just mean, you’re acting like yourself again.” Cap adds lamely. “It’s nice to have you back.”  
“Can we stay at the party for a little while?” Wanda pleads.  
“You’re not staying here alone,” Cap shakes his head.  
“I’m an adult,”  
“No you're not and you a very small grasp on very dangerous powers.”  
“What if Natasha stays?” I sigh, nodding in agreement.  
“Okay, Vision and I will take care of him.” He nods to the unconscious arms dealer.  
Back in the lobby, the party continues on. Unknown to the rest of attendees that a terrorist was just captured in their midst. Wanda hands me a glass a champagne. I raise my eyebrows.  
“In Germany I’m old enough,” she defends. I want to point out that we are in France, not Germany. “I think Tony is making progress,” she changes the subject. I doubt it. This past weekend, he wouldn’t even look at me. “Please at least pretend to be engaged in conversation with me.” I feel a smirk reach its way onto my face. “When we get back, we should do some cooking. I need a new partner in that, Vision is good in battle and other ways, but not with a frying pan,” she sips her champagne. “I want to learn to do what you just did. Getting a man to bend to your will with just a wave,” I feel myself tense.  
“Never want my skills. They come at too high a price.” I warn. She drops her eyes down to her drink. I nudge her lightly, “Your powers are cooler anyways.” Siri reads out. She smiles.  
“Want to dance?” Wanda and I dance with different men and after two hours, we head up to our hotel room.  
“Did you have fun?” Cap asks, leaning back in his chair.  
“Yes, we did, thank you.” Wanda slides off her heels, collapsing onto the couch in our three-bedroom suite.  
“Good, because it’s time to head back,” I groan internally. I need sleep. I ignore him and head to my room. “Natasha!” The bed engulfs me. I hold up one finger. “Fine, you get an hour,”  
  
“I’m worried about her, she used to be able to go days without sleep.”  
“Cap, it’s only been six weeks.” Wanda whispers.  
“I know, it just normally she recovers faster,”  
“She had a concussion going into that battle, remember? Hitting her head on the pavement after getting her throat slit didn’t help. She’s getting better.” I pretend to be asleep, waiting for them to say more.  
“You’re right. She performed well tonight. I just worry. Maybe a break from the compound will do her good, seeing Clint and everything.” I go into the bathroom and change out of the gown, back into my catsuit. I pull my hair up into a ponytail. The scar is fading, not nearly as noticeable as it had been a month ago. Soon it will be a tiny sliver of silver skin. I step into the living area of our suite. “Ready?” Cap stands up. I nod. As soon as we land in New York, I grab my bag and leave for Iowa. The plane ride is bumpy, and I try to concentrate on my book.  
“Aren’t you Black Widow?” A little girl from the seat in front of me peers over. I put a finger to my lips. Her mouth gapes open and she crawls over the seat. “My mom’s asleep and I’m bored. You’re my favorite Avenger.” With bright red curls, it’s easy to imagine why. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell. Are you on a mission?” I nod, the girl’s eyes widen. “Woah, can I help?” I reach into my backpack and pull out a pad of paper. On the top, I write ‘Black Widow’s New Suit’ and hand it to her, with a pencil. I nod back to her seat. “You want me to help design a new suit?” I nod again. “Why aren’t you talking?” I gesture to my throat, the scar is covered by my sweatshirt. “Oh, my brother had that last year, lauren-itis.” She crawls back over to her seat and begins drawing. The flight lands and I rush out, feeling trapped by the tiny seat. I give a quick nod to the little girl and disappear into the crowd. I do not want to be recognized again. I just want to be able to be anonymous.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nat arrives at the Barton farm but things don't go as planned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay this is a long one! Trigger warning for brief mention of suicide, also there is talk of torture, but nothing graphic. Flashback scenes are in italics. Any feedback is appreciated!

“Nat?” I turn around at baggage claim and see Clint.  
“You need to shave,”  
“It’s good to see you too,” he laughs. He grabs my bag and slings it over his shoulder. We get to his truck and start the drive. He does all the talking, unable to look at me as he keeps his eyes on the road. We pull up to the house and I see Laura, Cooper, and Lila waiting. When I get out of the car, a figure with pigtails comes flying at me, hooking herself onto my legs.  
“You were supposed to be here for Halloween, you were going to be Glinda, you’re the only one of us with red hair.”  
“Auntie Nat was sick, we told you that, Lila.” The girl pouts but I pick her up.  
“Mom and Dad said you don’t talk anymore,” she looks at me seriously.  
“She can’t, Lila. They explained that.” Cooper glares at his sister. She scrambles out of my arms.  
“I drew a picture for you,” her dress flying behind her as she runs into the house.  
“Nat,” Laura pulls me into a hug, “it’s good to see you,” she guides me into the house. “Nate is sleeping, apparently he didn’t get the memo that you were coming to visit.”  
“No offense Nat, but you look like shit.” Clint signs.  
“Mom, does it count for the swear jar if Dad signs it instead of saying it?” Cooper asks.  
“Yes, it does.” She looks a Clint. He drops a quarter in.  
“Since when do you know sign language?” Clint asks.  
“I have been studying,”  
“Swears?” Cooper shrugs and jogs up the stairs with Lila right behind him. “Seriously though, are you okay?” he turns to me.  
“Got in a from a mission early this morning,” I explain sitting at the kitchen table.  
“You’re going on missions again?” Clint hands me a beer. “And medical cleared you?” I meet his eyes. “Sorry, you’re an adult, you can make your own bad decisions.”  
“Clint,” Laura sighs, exasperated “Are you going to tell her or not?” I look over at Clint.  
“That was before I found out she went back without me.” He takes a sip of his beer. “My first mission back could’ve been ours,”  
“You’re coming back?”  
“Stark came through with the hearing aid, puts me at almost 100%.”  
“That’s awesome Clint, I’m happy for you.” For a year, his world has been almost entirely silent. This is great news. But I feel hollow. I push the feeling down. His world changed in a way much different than mine, and it lasted for a year. It’s been two months and I feel like my world is ending.  
“He will find a way to give you your voice back, Tash. Don’t worry,” It is like he read my thoughts. I force out a smile.  
“Not worried at all, but you should be. Then you won’t be able to escape me calling you out on your shitty sparring.”  
“Everyone gets here Wednesday; I already ordered the groceries but I’m so worried I didn’t get enough. Three turkeys?” Laura looks at the list. This was her subtly reminding me that I only had two days with just our little family.  
“Come on, let’s do target practice.” I follow him out backyard. “You wanna talk about it?” I shake my head, unlocking his gun cabinet. “The hearing aids will be fitted for me next week, then I’ll be back. Okay?” He places a hand on my shoulder, “Talk to me.” I walk over to the firing ranger and shoot, getting six bullseyes in a row. “Nat come on. You promised,” I remember. I shake my head, reloading my gun. “This isn’t as bad as last time, right?” I take a deep breath and shoot. “Natasha, stop ignoring me.”  
“I am fine.”  
“So not?”  
“No!” I sign angrily, trying to stop the memory from assaulting me, but I feel the floodgates open.

_It was nine months after the battle of New York. Twelve before the Winter Soldier came back. Clint and I are in Kiev. I blink, no maybe it was Cap. It was Cap. Clint came later. I look around. We are in a small cafe. Steve is sipping on a cup of coffee, reading a newspaper.  
“They aren’t here,” I sigh, putting down my tea. “Let’s get going,”  
“How are you a spy? You have zero patience,” I don’t want to admit that being this close to the Russian border makes me nervous.  
“I just think it’s a waste of our time. We have other things we should be doing.” If we aren’t out of here in the next five hours, I’ll miss Lila’s birthday party. Of course, I can’t give away that those were my plans, I promised Clint years ago.  
“Fine, you’re right.” They had heard of people testing on kids in the area, trying to inject them with the super serum, but were yet to find any proof. “Meet at the art museum at five o’clock?” I nod and gather my things, disappearing into the streets. I never make it to the art museum._

“Nat, I’m sorry.” I shake my head. I was just in Kiev, how I am I here?  
I blink my eyes, but rather than my vision clearing, I am back.  
_Time has jumped forward. I’m walking towards the museum. It’s four fifty-six. I am one hundred and twenty seconds out. Suddenly, I feel a needle enter the back of my neck. I spin around and push the guy away, pulling out the needle. I stumble forward, whatever I had been injected with was working quickly, normal drugs don’t work this fast on me. They know who I am. I can almost see the museum, and I can’t fight all these men impaired like this. I do something I have never done in my life: I run. I run away. I don’t make it far, stumbling forward, pitching myself against a wall. Everything disappears. When I wake up, I’m in a cell. One that is familiar and smells like home. I am back in the Red Room.  
“Natalia,” I look up. Ivan walks over to me, “You’ve been busy, we saw you on TV,” he smiles, a few teeth are missing. Time has not been kind to him. It’s been eight years. “We thought you were dead, archer killed you. You like it better when I speak English? You are an American now right? Friends with Captain America?” I close my eyes. Steve. He will know something is wrong when I don’t show up. He’ll be looking for me. He ties an elastic around my arm and flicks my inner elbow, bringing up a vein. Expertly, an IV is inserted. At the end of it is a bag of clear liquid. “It will take ages for them to find you, Natalia, and by then it will be too late.” _

_It’s takes them three months. Someone stands at the door of my cell, working quickly to pick the lock. My heart pounds, I can’t move. He looks familiar, old associate? Maybe an ally?  
“We are getting you out of here,” American. Most definitely not an ally. It clicks, that face. He attacked me. I was on a boat of some kind. He gently takes the IV out of my arm and brushes my hair away from my face. “You’re okay, you’re going to be okay,”  
“Clint, you’ve been shot,” a large blonde man appears, “you found her, let’s get out of here,”  
“Ivan?”  
“Dead.” I feel relief flood my chest. Ivan is dead. But I am being captured by someone else, who could be worse. “Is she conscious?”  
“Barely, she was on some kind of IV when found her.”  
“Let me take her, you’re in no shape to carry her.”  
“Where’s Hulk?”  
“Bruce is back, he’s in the quinjet with Thor,” So many names. My head spins. I am starting to regain feeling in my toes. They load me up onto an airplane of some kind, I’m laid softly on a bed. Four men at the front of the ship are deep in conversation. I sit up slowly and spot a pair of scissors. I grab them and creep forward. The one who was shot. He’s the best for me to get a jump on. Hold him hostage in exchange for my freedom. I lunge forward and grab him, holding the scissors to his neck.  
“Nat, it’s okay, we got you out, you’re safe.”  
“Let me go or I’ll kill him,” I look at the three other men.  
“It must be the drugs, she could be hallucinating,” the lanky one mumbles.  
“I demand you let me go, do you know who I am?” I command. “I am your worst nightmare. I am the best assassin in the world,” I hiss, pushing the scissors closer to the wounded’s neck.  
“You’re Natasha Romanoff and you are safe. We got you out,” he huffs, trying to break free. “Nat, we’d never hurt you,”  
“You hurt me!” I whisper in his ear, “I remember it, you attacked me. We fought on a boat,” I feel my voice falter, a boat doesn’t seem right. In my moment of weakness, he breaks free. He pushes me to the ground and tries to grab my arms, but I slip away.  
“Bruce, find a place to hide. We cannot have you Hulk out on this jet,” The man runs at me, but I dive away, going for the controls. I realize I know exactly how to steer it. As I begin to make a descent, someone grabs my arm, ripping me away. I take my scissors and stab into his side.  
“What is wrong with her?” The blonde with long hair groans.  
“I don’t know,” the man who had been shot yells, diving for the controls. I kick him in the ribs, and he gasps but does not let go. The man that I stabbed grabs me by the hair and knocks my head forward. _

I am gasping, and handcuffed.  
“Nat, it’s me Clint. You’re okay, you’re safe.” My gaze wanders wildly, unable to land on any one thing.  
“Bruce,” I gasp, but no sound comes out.  
“Bruce is missing, Tash, remember?” He tries.  
“Wanda,” I sign quickly, over and over again until I slip back into my memory.

_Time jumps again. I am in a cell, but find I am free to move. And there are books and a bed. It is the nicest cell I have ever seen. A door opens and an individual with an eyepatch walks in, stopping in front of my little room. The glass panels give me no place to hide.  
“Agent Romanoff,” he crosses his arms.  
“I don’t know who you are talking about,” I shake my head. Something flashes. I am wearing a catsuit.  
“You stabbed Agent Rogers.”  
“They kidnapped me,” I reply hotly, looking around my cell. “You don’t know who you are dealing with.”  
“Natalia Romanova, born 1984. Daughter of the Red Room. Black Widow. I have all your aliases if you would like me to list them out.”   
“You are bluffing.” Sixty-two names later I know he is not. The drugs are beginning to make their way out of my system, I feel tired. Defeated. “What do you want from me?” I ask.  
“To convince you that we are not trying to hurt you.” He pulls up a metal chair. “You have been compromised.” The door bursts open behind him. Clint. The man who attacked me before, and who had been shot in the leg. His limp is barely noticeable. I am impressed.  
“I got it,”  
“It took you long enough,” the man with the eye patch snaps.  
“She has three apartments in the DC area alone,”  
“You’ve been gone for three days, it doesn’t take three days to search Washington DC.”  
“It wasn’t in here. Laura had it.” Clint looks over at me nervously. “Nat gave it to her, in case,”  
“In case this happened.” He finishes. “Do we even know if it works?”  
“No, but it is all we have. Natasha seemed to believe they worked, enough to need to hide it.”   
“Then why not?” Clint opens up the notebook. I watch curiously. There are pages of writing, he flips quickly, ending somewhere in the middle of the notebook.  
“Uniform, November, Lima, Oscar, Charlie, Kilo.”  
“Feel any different?” the man with the eyepatch looks at me. I sit down, bored. “Are there more?”  
“Yes, she wrote a list.” He flips the page, “Whiskey, India, Delta, Oscar, Whiskey.” He flips the page again, “Bravo, Lima, Alpha, Charlie, Kilo.”  
“Didn’t work,” I purr, swinging my feet. I reach for one of the books.  
“There’s only one left,” he looks over at the man in the chair. “Romeo, Echo, Delta, Romeo, Oscar, Oscar, Mike.” I stop swinging my feet. I feel my back tense. I turn to the side and vomit. It burns. I see flashes of images coming so quickly that I get dizzy. “Nat,” Clint runs towards the door. Fury grabs him.  
“She is a spy first, Barton. She could be playing us, remember that.” I sink to the ground.  
“What did I do? Oh my God, what did I do?” I rake my fingers through my hair, “Cap, oh my God, I stabbed Rogers. Is he alive? Is he okay?” I place my head between my knees. “Make it stop, please.” I beg. The two of them stand still, unsure what to do. I killed people. Who were those people?  
“We have no way of knowing if she is who she says she is.” Fury cautions.  
“Then leave, I am going in.” Clint comes over to my cell and types in a code. He slips in, locking the door behind him. He is tense, scared. “Are you, you?”  
“Unfortunately,” I see him clutch his side as he sits down. “Oh fuck, Clint. I did that too. I broke your ribs,”  
“It wasn’t your fault.” He places an arm around me, I tense.  
“How can you even touch me? Aren’t you disgusted?”  
“No, we’re even now. I tried to kill you too.” I don’t laugh.  
“You have to kill me.”  
“What? We are not killing you, Natasha.”  
“There is no way to know if you can trust me again.”  
“We are not killing you,” he repeats, and looks out the glass to Fury. He gives a slight nod, “Yes, we are definitely not killing you,” I can feel some of the tension in him release.  
“Then we have to get rid of it.” I reply.  
“What do you mean?”  
“The memories, we will have to get rid of them. I can’t trust myself around all of you if these thoughts are in my head. The things they made me do,” I trail off. “Banner, Banner can do it. I will tell him how.”  
“Nat,”  
“Clint, we are lucky only a few memories got out. The newer ones that had been blocked. The wall needs to be put back up before,”  
“Before it all leaks out?”  
“I have done so many terrible things that I don’t know about, if it all comes, I don’t think I can handle it,” I admit weakly, my voice small. He nods and slips out of the cage and out of the room. “Fury, if this doesn’t work, I need you to kill me.” I look up and see the director staring at me. “I will not put this team in danger again.” I close my eyes and lean my head against the wall. _

I am back in the barn. Clint is pacing furiously, speaking into the coms and looking at the text conversion on his phone.  
“How far out are you? I don’t see you. Yes, I am inside.” He disappears for a moment and returns with Wanda.  
“What is going on? Why did you ask me to come early? Steve offered no explanation.” Her gaze wanders to me. “Why are you handcuffed?”  
“Nat, you’re awake.” Cint sighs, “What can Wanda do?”  
“Can you watch what I see?” I ask Wanda. I don’t know if she responds.

_“This seems like a bad idea.” Banner stands off to the side. They let me out of the cell, but not the holding area. Progress.  
“It is either this or kill me.” I offer. He balks. “I have had it done a hundred times,”  
“This will be my first.” He looks at the instructions I have written down. “What happens if I make a mistake?”  
“I could end up brain dead,” I reply, finishing off the last of the directions. “We can isolate it to a period of time, put the walls back up. Anything that came out during that time will go away with it.”  
“This seems a little too sci-fi.”  
“Welcome to the KGB,” I sigh, “All I will know is that I need to prove my loyalty again. I won’t know why. Don’t bring it up. Sometimes, it doesn’t take a codeword to break the wall down, it can be just talking about the incident.” I feel another memory flow in, I am nineteen. “We need to get moving, they are coming in faster.”  
“What are the end points?”  
“Before Cap and I are assigned to go to Kiev, right before being called into Fury’s office.”  
“To when?”  
“To when you put me under.”  
“Nat,”  
“Banner, I need you to do this.” He puts in the IV. “Thank you,” I close my eyes. _

“Natasha, come on.”  
“I think I know what to do, I just need to go over the instructions again,” Wanda whispers, scribbling on paper. I lean over and vomit up the little food I had in my stomach. “Why is she handcuffed to a tractor?” Wanda demands again,

_“Did it work? Natasha, can you hear me?” I blink open my eyes. Clint and Banner are standing over me.  
“Hey boys,” I smile and lean into the pillow.  
“How are you feeling?”  
“Fine, it worked.”  
“How do you know?”  
“I don’t know what you erased. I can just tell. I know it worked.” I stand up look down at my clothes. They are torn and bloody. “I couldn’t have been given fresh clothes before, seriously?” I look in the mirror. My face is sunken and pale. “We’re in DC, right?”  
“Yes,” Clint looks at me carefully.  
“Don’t worry, I’m okay.” I nudge his shoulder. “Where’s Cap? And Fury?” The two exchange a look. “Okay, I won’t ask.” Something nudges me. “Shit, I did something, didn’t I?” I can feel it burning in the back of my head.  
“Nat,”  
“No more questions, I won’t ask anymore.” I stand up, “I want to go back to my apartment.”  
“I’ll take you,” Clint offers. When we step out of the room, no one will look at us.  
“This brings back memories, right? When I first showed up and everyone hated us,” I laugh lightly, but I feel a pressure on my heart. I thought I had finally changed. When Clint leaves, I sink into bed, trying to block out all the loud thoughts.  
There is a banging on my door. I stumble out of a tangle of blankets and grab my bedside gun.  
“Natasha! Open up, its Clint!” I lower the gun and open the door. “I have been knocking for ten minutes.” He pushes his way in. “No one has heard from you in days, we thought you,”  
“I am fine. Clearly.” I head back to bed.  
“No, you obviously aren’t.” he follows me and pulls open the shades. “It has been two weeks.”   
“I needed a break,”  
“From showering?” he looks at me. “Nat, you’re falling apart.”  
“I did something, and I don’t know what. I know too much though. Whoever did the wipe didn’t do enough.” I pull a bottle of vodka out of my dresser. “Split a drink with me before I completely lose it?”  
“We will do it again, the wipe.”  
“Yes, perhaps they’ll have a better handle on it now, doing it twice.” I take a swig of the vodka.  
“When do you want to do it?”  
“Soon, before I kill myself.”  
“Nat, that isn’t funny.”  
“It wasn’t a joke, Clint.” I take another sip. _

_“I am going to have to remember in order for you to erase it again.” I sit across from Bruce. He glances nervously at a paper in my handwriting that I have no recollection of writing. “I know Cap doesn’t trust me; Fury won’t put me on any missions.” I close my eyes. “Tell me what happened.”  
“You were in Kiev with Cap,” he begins. I see a flash, “You were kidnapped by the Red Room. They took you and,” The damn bursts open. I nod, cutting him off.  
“I got it, now build a stronger wall, okay?” I look at the electromagnetic probes and put the IV in myself. “Do it.” _

“She’s coming back,” I blink and see I am once again back in the barn. Wanda is chewing thoughtfully on her lip.  
“That’s why they didn’t trust me. When Fury faked his death. Why Steve didn’t want me around.” I shake my head. “I was compromised.” Wanda looks up from her notes and catches the last of my signs.  
“Sorry, I missed that.”  
“You won’t remember in about five minutes, okay?” Clint offers. I can see the recent Red Room torture in detail now, more flooding in. Killing. I killed so many people. Electric shock. I can feel it all. “Wanda, might want to get a move on that,” I am shaking. Cold. Shock. I’m going into shock.  
“I have been waiting out there for hours, what is going on?” Steve bursts in, inspecting the three of us. “Why is she chained to a tractor?”  
“I needed to be safe, my family in just outside these walls,” Clint snaps. I can feel the torture bubbling to the surface. Other memories are not far behind. “She remembers Kiev. I made a mistake, broken Banner’s walls.” I wait for Cap to get angry, call me a liability.  
“Nat, it wasn’t your fault. Okay? You were under their control.” He looks to Wanda, “Work faster,”  
“I am trying to figure out how to do this with my mind, at least Banner had equipment!” she barks. “I distinctly remember her saying that becoming brain dead is a possibility.” I close my eyes. The training is flashing by faster and faster. I feel a hand slip into mine, “Don’t worry, I am going to fix this.” I slip out of consciousness.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 5! Please enjoy! Any feedback is welcome :)

I wake up in the barn. I am handcuffed to the tractor. Steve, Clint, and Wanda look at me anxiously. There is vomit next to me. A wipe, someone had to do a wipe, put up blocks. It was Wanda. Her fear is different. I lean back against the tractor and give a thumbs up. There is an audible sigh of relief.  
“I never want to do anything like that again.” Wanda folds up the paper. I gesture to the handcuffs. Clint apologizes and sheepishly removes them. “Are you okay?” I nod.  
“Happy Thanksgiving,” Cap smiles, “two days early.” We head back into the house. It is nearly sunrise. Clint starts on breakfast. Wanda looks around, I forgot she had only been here once before, and it was a brief visit.  
“Thank you, for helping me.” She nods, moving her attention elsewhere. “Are you okay?” I ask moving back into her line of sight.  
“I’m fine. Just saw a lot.” I feel pressure in the back of my head. I stop pushing.  
“We have company,” Laura pads down the stairs with Nate in her arms. “Why do we have company, Clint?” she looks over at her husband.  
“There was an incident, it was taken care of.”  
“You were out in the barn all day and night and that is the only explanation I get?” she settles Nate down into his highchair, Clint shoots her a warning look. Her eyes drift over to me. \ She settles down next to Nate and begins to give him baby food.  
“We’re going for a jog,” Steve grabs me by the arm. Outside, it is freezing. “You’ll warm up once you start running.” He breaks into a sprint, leaving me in the dust. I race after him, catching up. “You’re still almost as fast as me.” I smile and lean forward, panting. I cough and spit out some blood. “Shit, Nat, are you okay?” I give him a thumbs up and turn around, sprinting back towards the house with a smile. We both arrive back inside, sweating. My hair is plastered to my face but so is a grin.  
“You guys were gone for an hour; I was just about to turn off the stove.” Clint gestures to a dwindling pile of pancakes.  
“Thanks,” I sit down at the table as Clint serves us food. The pancakes stick in my throat like paste. I force myself to swallow. Steve is watching me carefully. _What?_ I glare at him. He looks back down at his own food.  
“Good, you’re back. We’re going grocery shopping.” Laura enters the kitchen with her purse. “Get changed, Wanda’s coming too.” I run upstairs and take a quick shower, happy to abandon my meal. I throw on jeans and a sweatshirt.  
Wanda sits wedged between us in the truck, pouting.  
“Why couldn’t we take the car?”  
“We have to buy so many groceries, it wouldn’t all fit,” Laura explains, rounding the corner. “Three turkeys, I ordered three turkeys ahead of time. Is Thor coming? I didn’t count on him coming.” She takes her eyes off the road for a moment to look at me. I shake my head. Her shoulders relax. “Then we’ll have enough food.” We pull into the Stop & Shop parking lot and grab to carriages.  
“Will the kids be okay with Steve and Clint?” Wanda asks, reading over the grocery list.  
“You should be asking if Steve and Clint will be okay with the kids,” Laura sighs and puts her purse in the cart. It is a madhouse inside. Wanda looks around in shock.  
“We should take you on more field trips,” I text her.  
“Nothing would prepare me for this.” She gawks, grabbing a bag of apples. “This makes assassinations easy.”  
“Pay attention, this is a mission,” Laura commands. “You have the bottom half; I have the top. I will meet you back here in thirty minutes.”  
Thirty minutes later, Wanda and I stumble back to her. She waits with her cart full.  
“Avengers, useless outside of a battlefield.” She looks at our messy cart, everything thrown in haphazardly. I feel exhausted by the time we reach the car.  
“That was hell.” I close my eyes and lean against the window.  
“Nat, we’re back.” Wanda nudges me. I sit up quickly and jump out of the car. “You don’t need to be embarrassed for falling asleep. We’ve been up for almost twenty-four hours.” I go to the back of the truck and begin to help unload the groceries. Clint and Steve appear from behind the house with the kids and begin to help as well.

Wanda asks me to help her cook dinner as a thank you to Laura. She is cooking a traditional Sokovian dish.  
“Nat, can you pass me the paprika?” Wanda stands over a pot, stirring. I don’t look up from my book as I pass it to her. “When you agreed to help me cook, this is not what I imagined,” she huffs. I smirk into the pages. “Glad you find this amusing.”  
“You’re looking better,” Steve stands at the edge of the kitchen. “This is much different than the last time we were here together,”  
“Had a nervous breakdown both times, Steve.” I sign. I forgot he can’t understand. I cast my eyes to Wanda, who is frowning. Steve coughs.  
“When was the last time you were here together?” Wanda asks, looking up from her soup. Neither of us meet her eyes. “Oh, that.” Wanda knew the damage she did to me, making me relive the graduation procedure. She was there the following months when I had to deal with the aftermath. I had told Bruce he wasn’t the only monster on the team. Not because I couldn’t have children, that didn’t make me a monster. It reminded me I was a mindless killer first, Avenger second. It took weeks for me to trust myself again, it took everything I had not to disappear like Bruce.  
“Whatever you’re making smells delicious. I can’t wait,” he compliments Wanda. There is the sound of something crashing outside.  
I run out and see that Clint has thrown something from the loft in the barn. I look to Cap and Wanda, signaling for them to go back inside. The barn is warmer than outside, but not by much. Clint hovers in the rafters, moving around. I wave and he spots me. He quickly drops to floor, landing without a sound.  
“What’s up?”  
“You weren’t exactly being quiet,” I gesture to the crates that had been flung.  
“Sorry,” I see he isn’t wearing his hearing aids. He’s trying to be alone.  
“You should come inside, Wanda is chatting, Steve is making everyone uncomfortable. Just like old times.” He doesn’t laugh. “Why don’t you think I’m funny anymore? I’m hilarious.” He grunts in response, pushing the boxes to the side. I tap him, getting his attention again.  
“What’s going on with you? You’ve been weird since I got here,”  
“Just a lot on my mind.”  
“I kind of figured that.”  
“I’m nervous about coming back. I’m a liability.”  
“Please, you are not.”  
“If my hearing aids die, there is no way for me to communicate with the team.”  
“You are complaining to the wrong person if you’re looking for sympathy.” I sigh, it occurs to me this is why he is complaining to me and not Steve or Laura. “Am I a liability to the team, Clint? Do I stop the team from succeeding?”  
“No, of course not.”  
“Then you won’t either. We will have to do things differently. Different doesn’t mean bad.” He looks over my shoulder  
“Dinner,” Laura signs. Clint and I already knew sign language when he lost his hearing, it was luck. We had learned it early on for missions where we couldn’t talk. Laura, however, did not. She learned quickly; I give her credit. It must have been hard for Clint to feel isolated like that.  
“Why does he never wear his hearing aids?”  
“I couldn’t tell you. I’ve asked, never get an answer.” Clint picks up Lila and puts her on his hip. “I’m so glad Wanda made dinner, I need a break before we start cooking tomorrow.”  
“She’s a good kid.”  
“You guys look practically the same age,”  
“Yeah, it is easy to forget I’m not 100% human,” I laugh but a piece of me twinges.  
“You are human, just enhanced. New and improved,” she teases, trying to lighten the mood. In the kitchen, Wanda is having Cooper taste the dish.  
“It’s spicy,” he looks over to me, “Auntie Nat, you have to try this.” I help set the table and soon the kitchen is full of laughter. My heart feels full.  
That night, I lie in bed. Wanda sleeps beside me. Cap took the guest room. The little witch twitches in her sleep. I rub her back, trying to calm her. Her nightmare intensifies. Around me, things start to float, glowing red. The throw pillows, our shoes, and more swirl around us. I try to shake her awake. _Come on, Wanda_. The bed starts to lift. I shake her harder. She wakes with a start. Everything drops to the ground around us.  
“Oh, oh no.” she looks around the room, which is now in disarray. “Oh no.” I flick on the light.  
“It’s okay. You were having a nightmare.” She gets out of bed and begins to tidy up. I join her, knowing it would be fruitless to try and stop her.  
“I’m so sorry,” she whispers, tears pooling in her eyes.  
“Don’t be, we all have nightmares,” I comfort her, “You didn’t hurt anyone or break anything.” I nudge the shards of a broken vase under the bed with my foot. “Let’s go back to bed, okay?” I pull up the covers, tucking her in.

  
I take a shower early in the morning after two hours of sleep. The water runs hot, nearly scalding my skin. I relish in the feeling.  
“Natasha, please don’t use up all the hot water,” Wanda’s delicate voice rings out. I was hoping she would sleep longer. I shut off the shower and take a deep breath, breathing in the remaining steam. After towel drying my hair and slipping on a bathrobe, I open the door. Wanda rushes in, towel in hand. In the bedroom, I change into a turtleneck and jeans. I can hear Lila arguing with her mom about wearing a dress. Downstairs, in the living room, Cooper and baby Nate are watching the parade. Cap hands me a cup of coffee.  
“Clint went to greet the quinjet. They should be landing in about ten minutes.” Lila and Laura come downstairs, followed by Wanda. Lila joins her brothers in front of the TV.  
The front door opens. Clint walks in with Fury, Hill, Tony, and Pepper. However, he isn’t smiling. A sixth figure emerges from behind.  
“Nat,” he rushes forward, arms outstretched. I slap him across the face and run upstairs. “Natasha, please open up!” he knocks on the door to my room. “I just want to talk, I’m sorry. I lost control, please.” I hear him sink to the ground outside the door. I open it. He enters the room. We are thinking about the same moment, in this room, a year ago. When I proposed we run away together, leave everything behind. He did, but without me. “I am sorry I left you. I wasn’t in control. Hulk was. The jet crashed and I don’t know how long I was Hulk for. Then I saw your video on the monitor and it all came back.” I look over my shoulder at him. “So much has changed,” he sits down on the bed. “Please say something.” Oh. They didn’t tell him. Why didn’t Tony tell him? “The first thing I did was come here. Tony found me at the airport in Des Moines just an hour ago, running facial recognition through every database. He picked me up and brought me here.” That would be why Tony didn’t tell him. I sit down on the bed next to him. He looks over at me, hopeful. I pull down the neck of my sweater, revealing the scar. “What happened?” Seriously? I run a finger across my neck. I try sign language next. “You can’t talk.” He looks closely at my neck, “What happened? Wait, sorry. That is stupid. You can’t tell me what happened.” You left. I want to scream at him. I want to tell him that if he had taken me with him none of this would have happened. Perhaps I am just looking for someone to blame. This isn’t his fault. I stand up and kiss the cheek a slapped minutes ago. Then, I head downstairs.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some Thanksgiving festivities and Nat being a good mentor to Wanda, please enjoy! This chapter doesn't really have action, but a coming one will, i promise!

He comes down a little while later, sheepish. I join Tony, Wanda, and Laura in the kitchen.  
“There’s this new kid, calls himself Spiderman. He is going to kill himself if I don’t get involved.” Tony explains, standing over the gravy. Wanda is using her powers to stir cranberry sauce, kneed pie dough, and baste the turkey.  
“Did you know Tony could cook?” Laura asks when she sees me.  
“Eggs,” I laugh.  
“I happen to be a great cook, thank you.” He huffs.  
“You’re on mashed potatoes,” Laura shoves the bowl at me while she peels apples. “So, want to talk about what happened with Bruce?” I shake my head, concentrating on the potatoes.  
“He didn’t stop talking about you the whole way here. Pepper and I kept trying to interrupt him, but he wouldn’t let us.” Tony apologizes in his own way.  
“How long until dinner?” Clint pokes his head in, “Vis is two hours out.” Laura sets down the peeler,  
“Three hours,” and goes back to the apples.  
“You happy to have him out of the house in a few days?” Tony asks, stepping away from the gravy. Wanda takes over, done with her tasks. “You know, now that he’s going back to work.”  
“It has been very nice having him around,” Laura replies.  
“But he is driving you crazy?” Wanda laughs.  
“So many projects! We don’t need a second barn,” she groans.  
“Mom!” Cooper comes running into the kitchen, “Lila took my bow,”  
“Tell your father,” she replies. “Now being able to do that, I will miss.” I finish mashing the potatoes.  
“Tone, can we talk?” Bruce stands in the doorway, sulking.  
“Yeah, sure.” They head to the sunroom. Every few minutes one of them gestures to the kitchen.  
“They’re real subtle,” Wanda grumbles, sitting next to me. The gravy continues being stirred. “and have been talking for an hour and a half.” She looks at the clock on the wall. There is a knock at the front door. “Vis!” Wanda flies out of the room, her hair streaming behind her. “I missed you so much.” She hugs him tightly.  
“Wanda, I missed you too.” He hugs the girl. Their relationship is weird, but I try not to put too much thought into it. Vision technically doesn’t have an age.  
“Are you okay with Bruce being here?” Clint appears next to me.  
“I am not going to turn him away on Thanksgiving. That’d be a dick move, Clint.”  
“I know but,”  
“We aren’t back together. We aren’t friends. But we are teammates. I will treat him with the same courtesy I treat Tony.”  
“So none at all?” I elbow him in the ribs.  
“Dinner everyone!” We all gather together around the tables pushed together. Clint and Cap at the heads. I am on Clint’s left, Laura on his right. Wanda sits next to me, and Vision next to her. Nate babbles happily in his highchair.  
After dinner, we are gathered around the table with dessert when Tony presents a box.  
“For Katniss,” Clint opens the box. Inside are two hearing aids. They look like standard aids, save for the classic stark logo on the back. “Well try them on,” he add, annoyed. Clint takes out his old aids and slides the new ones in. Everyone is silent, waiting.  
“How is it, honey?” Laura asks, tentatively. A smile blossoms across Clint’s face. Her turns and kisses her, passionately.  
“Eww, gross,” Cooper groans.  
“Hey, I heard that,” Clint teases, pulling his kids in for a hug.  
“So, they work?”  
“Thank you, Tony. Really.”  
“All I ask is that you name your next child after me, only fair since you named one after Nat.” Clint rolls his eyes.  
“We’ll be glad to have you back, Barton.” Steve claps Clint on the shoulder. I nod to my best friend in agreement.  
Tony, Pepper, Wanda, and Fury head back that Friday while the rest of us decide to spend the remainder of the weekend on the farm. However, by Sunday evening I find myself surprisingly homesick. The relief when the jet touches down is nearly palpable.

“Home sweet home,” Clint collapses on the couch in the living room.  
“Oh my God,” a teenage boy is standing in the kitchen. I pull out my gun. Clint scrambles off the couch, reaching for one of the guns we keep strapped underneath.  
“Down, Red. He’s a friend.” Tony wanders in. “Meet Peter, my intern. He is also Spiderman.” Tony explains, “I believe I told you about him over the holiday.”  
“You’re the Avengers,” he looks between Clint, Steve, Wanda, and I. “It’s an honor. I’m Peter.” He sticks out his hand. Steve steps forward and shakes it.  
“Welcome aboard, kid.” He looks to Tony. “I am going to go check in with Bruce, see how Project Guitar is going.”  
“Code names for projects, so cool.”  
“I should probably join him. Mingle with the team, get to know them.” He looks over at me. “You, be nice.” Tony disappears down the hallway.  
“This is so cool.” He looks at the three of us. “You guys are legendary. Hawkeye, The Scarlet Witch, and the Black Widow. I’ve toured the museum so many times. I never thought I’d get to meet you guys. And Black Widow, I watched your senate hearing, it was amazing. You were amazing.” I smile at the kid.  
“So how long have you been Spiderman?” Wanda asks, trying to pull the conversation away from me.  
“Like three months? That seems about right. Friendly neighborhood Spiderman at your service.”  
“You and I are going to work on your aim, I have seen some of your work, good but room for improvement.” Clint claps Peter on the back. “I am going to go do patrols, its good to be back.” He whoops as he disappears down the hall.  
“Can I see the Widow’s Bites?” he looks around, as if expecting them to materialize in thin air. “What was the Battle of New York like? And fighting Loki?” he almost bounces with excitement. I look to Wanda, who seems just as lost as I am on what to do with the kid. I place my hand on his shoulder to calm him down. He looks down in awe. At least it shut him up. I unzip the top of my suit, and I see him get a little too excited. I point to my neck. The scar has faded from red to pink but is still visible.  
“Nat,” Wanda steps forward.  
“What happened?”  
“There was a mission, it didn’t go well.” Wanda finishes lamely. “It happens.” She looks down the hall to where Clint disappeared to.  
“So, what is it? What’s wrong?”  
“No voice,” I mouth to him. “Silent.” The kid pauses for a moment, trying to soak it in.  
“So your Twitter handle could be @SilentButDeadly?” I screw up my face and can’t help it, I laugh at the stupid joke. Wanda looks shocked.  
“Come on, Wand. It’s a little funny.” Wanda is still too sensitive about the mission, her part in it, to laugh. Clint won’t make jokes either. Cap was making progress.  
“Natasha has work to do, come on. I will show you around.” She grabs his arm and drags him out of the room.  
Over the next week, Peter becomes a constant fixture of afternoons at the compound. His nervous energy and constant movements bring new life to the place. He is yet to be scarred by heroism. The week had wound to a close without incident. None of us had been called away. However, this day was not without significance. I walk down the hall and knock on Wanda’s bedroom door.  
“Who is it?” rings out quietly. I let out an annoyed huff and knock again. The door glows red and swings open. “Sorry, wasn’t thinking.” She is sitting in her bed, her face streaked with tears. I look around her room. A guitar is propped up by the windows, I didn’t know she played. Above her desk are photos of her and Pietro as children. Birthdays without her twin will never be easy.  
“I got you a present,” I hold out the thick manila folder. She sniffles and scoots forward, taking the folder. She reads it and then looks up at me. “You start Monday. We will go back to school shopping tomorrow.” The witch jumps out of bed and hugs me.  
“Thank you, Nat. Thank you.”  
“We have a meeting with Tony, come on.” We walk into his office. Peter is fidgeting with an electronic of some kind and smiles when he sees us.  
“Hey guys, thank you for joining us. Happy birthday Wanda!” Tony throws a baseball in the air and catches it. “This is an epically bad idea. Thank you so much, Natasha, for recommending it.” I shoot Tony a glare. “Wanda, you know Spiderman,” the kid waves awkwardly. “He is a sophomore at the high school you will be attending, the Midtown School of Science and Technology.”  
“Hey Wanda, good to see you again,” the kid smiles.  
“No one else knows Underoos here is Spiderman. He is just my intern and I intend to keep it that way. Thankfully, this cover allows him to know you. So, he can show you around, answer any questions you have. And try to keep you out of trouble.” Tony pinches the bridge of his nose, “If this ends badly, this is all on you, Red.” He looks to me. “You filled out the guardianship papers I sent over, right?” Wanda looks over to me. “Oh, she didn’t tell you? You need a guardian to be registered at the school. Technically, Black Widow is your mom now.” Tony groans, “As if this situation isn’t messy enough.” We leave the office.  
“I’m sorry Wanda, I should have asked,” I begin to apologize, Wanda cuts me off with another hug. I hope this doesn’t become a habit, I think to myself, but a part of me is pleased. That night, after cake and ice cream, I find Wanda in my room, waiting for me.  
“What time are we going shopping tomorrow?”  
“Noon,” I stretch, tired. Clint and I practiced for three hours today. I can still taste iron from the blood I coughed up.  
“Thank you, Natasha. This means the world to me. I know it would mean a lot to Pietro too.” I smile at her and she slips from the room.

We pull up to the mall and Happy lets us out. Wanda looks around, excited.  
“I will pick you two up in three hours.” He speeds away to do whatever Happy does. Ever since I revealed myself to be an assassin rather than Natalie from legal, he has never been completely comfortable.  
“Where do you want to go first?” she stares at the directory, unsure. I take her into Nordstrom and hand them my black card. “Whatever you want. Buy it.” She starts off slowly, but soon begins to acquire a collection of clothing. I sip on coffee and give my approval as she does a fashion show. It is sweet.  
“Okay, do I have enough?” she asks, sitting next to me, “I haven’t had a first day of school since I was ten,” she twists the rings on her fingers nervously. I nod and hand her the new backpack she picked out. On the dot, Happy arrives.  
“Did you buy the whole mall?” he asks, loading the items into the trunk of the Rolls Royce.

Monday morning rolls around and I pull up to the school in my Porsche with Wanda. She looks over at me and smiles. Her nervousness bleeds through. I give her hand a squeeze. It is an hour-long drive to school every day, one that normally either Happy or a driver will be making, but I want to be there for the first day.  
“I want to get my license.”  
“Please one thing at a time before I give Tony a heart attack.” Siri reads, “I want to know everything when I pick you up.”  
“You sound like a parent already,” she groans. We climb out of the car and towards the front steps of the school. “I have my backpack, lunch money, everything I need. Please don’t hack the security cameras and watch during the day.”  
“No promises,” I sign. A very jittery Peter Parker is dancing from foot to foot. He waves at us. Beside him are a handful of other students and the principal I met with last week. He looks at us uneasily.  
“Welcome Wanda, we are so happy to have you joining us. It is an honor to add an Avenger to our ranks.”  
“Um, thank you,” she looks to me.  
“Let’s get inside and go over your schedule.” I look over at Peter who is talking with a friend.  
“Wanda, this is Ned, MJ, and Betty. My friends.” He gestures to the three of them. “And that’s Flash.” A fourth kid sits nearby, watching.  
“You don’t need to come in, I’m okay.” She looks at me. I raise my eyebrows. “Really, I’m good.” I nod to her and make my way back to the car. Not that I am leaving the city. Not on her first day. I sit down at a café near the school, book in hand, ready to be notified if I need to be there.  
“Who would’ve thought, Red can be maternal?” Tony sits down next to me. The waitress comes over, “Two Americanos, please.” He pulls a small box out of his breast pocket. “This is for you, until we get the vocal cords figured out.” I open it up and it’s a thin black bracelet. “I had Friday analyze everything you have ever said into the coms and take your top eight phrases and put them on here. “One is ‘prepare for extraction’, two is Hulk’s lullaby, three is ‘Clint’s been shot,” I snort. “I know. The guy gets shot a lot.” He hands me an earpiece and I slide it in. He clicks number six,  
“Hey guys how are we doing?” I hear my own voice for the first time in months. I find myself choked up.  
“What the fuck? Nat?” Rings through my ears. Tony is laughing.  
“Sorry about that Clint. Forgot you were on coms.”  
“Was that Nat?”  
“Testing out new software, just a recording.”  
“Not cool, at all.” I can hear Clint gasping. I glare at Tony, but I also can’t help but laugh a little. Tony takes the com out of his ear and I do the same.   
“Bruce and I are making headway, don’t lose hope, okay?” the waitress brings over the coffee. “I know I make jokes, but I think it is great of you to advocate for the little witch. She’s gone through a lot, like you.” I look down. “High school? Place a hormonal teenager with dangerous powers around other hormonal teenagers? Maybe not the best idea, but definitely proof that you’ve got a heart.” He finishes his coffee and stands up. “Unlike you, some of us have real jobs to get back to. You wait here another six hours to pick up your child.” And I do.  
At three o’clock, I am waiting outside of the school. Hopefully enough in disguise that I don’t upset Wanda. She searches the crowd quickly before her eyes settle on me. A relieved smile blossoms over her face. She turns to the person next to her and gives a quick goodbye before walking over to me.  
“You look like a normal teenager,”  
“You look like a spy trying to hide the fact that they are a spy,” she counters with a smile.  
“You had a good day?”  
“It was unbelievably normal. And I mean that in the best way possible,”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lucky #7, enjoy! As always, any feedback is welcome :)

After making sure Wanda is all set with her homework, I head into the living room. I spot Tony, Bruce, and Clint deep in conversation.  
“You’re back!” Tony jumps up. I raise an eyebrow. “Perfect. We have news.” He rubs his hands together, “You are going to be able to yell at us again.”  
“We think we found a way to create artificial vocal cords.” Bruce explains.  
“Think? You guys said you did.” Clint frowns.  
“Well, we are almost done with them. Give it another week and we will be ready to go and put them into you. We are just running final tests.” Tony pulls up the schematics. “Project Guitar, almost complete. I have to say, this could be one of our greatest accomplishments, Banner.”  
“We created sentient life,” he points out. Tony shrugs.  
“You don’t look excited,” Clint looks at me.  
“Just trying not to get my hopes up.”  
“You know, it’s super rude that we can’t understand you.” I glare at him.  
“It will be fine; they know what they are doing.”

That Friday, I sit next to Wanda aboard the quinjet. Cap is driving. A mini mission to Norway. Clint had been called away to Lila’s ballet recital, I can imagine how torn he is. I was not given the choice, or I may have bene just as broken up about it.  
“I have been practicing my sign language,” Wanda offers, looking up from her homework.  
“Oh? Let’s see it.” I ask.  
“I understood what you just said,” she signs back with a grin.  
“We are landing in five,” Cap looks over his shoulder. We touch down in Oslo. “This should be an easy mission, in and out. A warehouse downtown is housing illegal plutonium.”  
“Shouldn’t we have Bruce with us? This seems like his type of thing.” Wanda closes her textbook.  
“He is working, we can handle this.” Cap replies, turning off the jet. We depart and catch a cab from the airport to the city center.  
“When people ask what I did this weekend, no one will believe my answer.”  
“Everyone will believe you, it’ll be on the news,” I laugh. We enter the warehouse. It is suspiciously understaffed. A bullet grazes my arm and one hits Steve in the side, but nothing that would slow us down. Wanda quickly incapacitate the five guards and we move in.  
“Okay Widow, your turn.” Cap commands into the coms as we diverge. He goes to the second floor, I towards the controls. Wanda stands guard behind me as I hack through the security features. I am done in less than two minutes.  
“You should put pressure on that wound,” Wanda suggests, looking at my arm. I roll my eyes. “Oh, sorry Cap, we are all done. Any security features have been disabled.”  
“Perfect, we’ll have to get your hacking lessons started up soon.”  
“Yes, on top of AP Courses and being an Avenger,” she signs to me. I snort.  
“What are you two talking about?” He asks, “I heard you Widow.”  
“Are we good to go? Do you have the plutonium?”  
“Yes, I will meet you outside. Local authorities have been alerted.” We are sitting outside on the ground when Steve comes out carrying two suitcases. A handful of government vehicles pull up and he happily hands off the plutonium once verifying their credentials.  
“Let’s get something to eat, I’m starving.” Siri reads out. We end up at a place called Taco República.  
“So, are you liking school?” Steve asks, putting down his taco.  
“Yes, it’s good. I like being around other kids, getting off the compound.” She takes a sip of her water, “Not that you guys aren’t great.”  
“But we’re old,” he jokes.  
“Speak for yourself,” I blow my straw rapper at him and it hits his face.  
“Are you excited for this week?” he asks me.  
“What’s this week?” Wanda asks. I glare at Steve; I hadn’t told her yet. He looks for an exit.  
“I am going to go to the bathroom and get this bullet out.” He hurries away from the table  
“What’s this week?” Wanda repeats again.  
“They are putting in the artificial vocal cords this week,” I text Wanda.  
“They are? That’s amazing! Why didn’t you tell me?” She looks up from her phone.  
“I don’t want to get anyone’s hopes up.” I reply.  
“Oh, you mean your own.” I purse my lips. She is getting too good at reading me. “It will be okay, you’ll see.”

That Monday, I lie down on the hospital bed in the medical wing. Dr. Cho was flown in for the surgery and she is in the other room, prepping. Clint sits next to me, reading People Magazine.  
“Avengers- they’re just like us!” He laughs, turning the magazine around to show me. There is a picture of Steve picking up ice cream at the grocery store. One of me dropping Wanda off at school last week. There’s an additional photo of us shopping at Nordstrom. I can’t bring myself to laugh, I’m too nervous. “It will be fine, Nat, don’t worry. Dr. Cho knows what she is doing, and so do Steve and Bruce. Everyone has come together to make this happen. Ye of little faith.” He nudges me. I nod and start to feel the drugs take effect. I feel myself fade under the anesthesia.

* * *

I wake up from the surgery in my own room. The shades are drawn but a bit of light shines through the cracks. Clint is sleeping next to me, lying on the bed. I nudge him gently.  
“You’re up,” he smiles sleepily, “How are you feeling?” I give him a smile. “I’m going to go grab Cho, okay?” He slips out of the room and returns with Dr. Cho, Bruce, and Tony who look more excited than I thought possible.  
“Artificial vocal cords; imagine what else we can do. Barton, we could give you new ears,” Tony grins.  
“I’m all set.”  
“Alright, let’s look,” Dr. Cho comes over and helps me sit up, I open my mouth. “Swelling has gone down a lot. Do you want to try talking?” I take a deep breath.  
“How do I sound?” Tears spring up to my eyes. Not from joy, but pain. I feel like a thousand razor blades are slicing through my throat. The voice sounds like mine, but it doesn’t feel like it. I close my eyes, waiting for the pain to subside.  
“What’s wrong?” Bruce asks.  
“Hurts, a lot.” I sign. Clint translated quickly.  
“We should probably let your throat rest a while longer, you only got out of surgery twelve hours ago,” Tony offers. I know that’s not what’s wrong, so do they. I close my eyes to go back to sleep.  
“Thank you for flying in Dr. Cho, let’s finish debriefing in my office,” Tony leads her and Bruce out of the room. I wake up a little while later and look over to Clint who is sitting with a book. He senses my movement and looks up.  
“It’s okay Nat, they’ll try again.” I nod, picking at my comforter. I have a voice, but I can’t use it. “Don’t lose hope, okay?” Clint offers.  
“Don’t get soft on me Clint, I’m fine.” I get out of bed. “Let’s go train.”  
“You just woke up from surgery. We can’t go fight.”  
“Why not?”

“Jesus, Nat,” Clint sits on the bench, “you should be training with Rogers like this, not me.” He massages his shoulder.  
“Sorry, I guess I got a little aggressive.”  
“A little?” he takes a sip of his water. “Hi Wanda, Pete.” I turn around and see the youngest Avengers.  
“Woah, we watched the whole thing, that was intense. Can you fight me like that?” Peter asks, bounding over.  
“How did it go? Did it work?” Wanda looks between me and Clint. Now Tuesday, I hadn’t seen the little witch since dinner Sunday night.  
“Sort of,” Clint pushes his shoulders back in a stretch. “I am going to go take a hot shower.” He leaves the room with a grumble.  
“How does it sort of work?” Peter asks, “I helped Mr. Stark with it last week, in the simulations we ran there was only a 3% chance of it not working,” He pulls out his phone. “Oh crap, Mr. Stark wants me in his lab. I’ll see you guys later!” He runs off leaving me with Wanda. The little witch frowns.  
“So, does it not sound like you?”  
“No, it does.” I speak, and then begin to feel lightheaded from the pain. I must’ve stumbled because Wanda is propping me up.  
“What’s wrong with them?” I pull away from her, standing up straight.  
“Every time I speak, it is like getting my throat slit all over again. It’s fine. We’ve managed fine without my voice so far. Change into your training clothes. I’ll wait here.” Siri speaks. She returns a half hour later. “Since when does it take you so long to change?” I ask, crossing my arms.  
“Sorry, I got distracted.”  
“You never get distracted. Everything okay at school?”  
“Yes, schools great.”  
“Then what is it?” We drop into fighting stance and begin to dance around each other. I toss my phone to the side, no more talking.  
“I’m worried about you,” she lunges forward, and I dodge easily. I scoff. “No, come on. Really.” She swerves out of the way of one of my blows. “You hardly eat,” she ducks under a kick, “you never join us for movies anymore,” I kick again, clipping her in the side, “Can we stop and talk for a second?” She huffs, I shake my head. “We are just worried,” I pin her to the ground and then pull her up.  
“Don’t worry about me,” I sign. She screws up her face. I give her a tight smile.  
“Is this the end of the conversation?” I nod and toss her a towel, heading back to my suite. I shower quickly and change into my sweats, happy to be done for the day. I look over at the clock, it’s only five. I rest my head back on the pillows.  
When I wake up, its morning. I slept through dinner. Quickly, as to not disturb anyone, I head to communications and begin to work on translations. I take breaks only for coffee.  
“She’s been down here for two days, has she even slept?” Tony asks. I ignore them, continuing to go through my work.  
“No, she hasn’t slept since Wednesday.” I continue to ignore them. Let them say what they want, I am being productive, putting my skills to good use.  
“Nat,” I look up. Clint is standing in the doorway, “Are you coming with me?” I raise my eyebrows, “To the farm? Dinner tonight, remember? It’s Saturday.” I nod, pushing aside my work. “I’ll meet you at the quinjet in a half hour, okay?”  
I sit in the copilot seat as Clint flies the jet. I took a shower and changed clothes; I look more like a human being.  
“They are really excited you’re coming. Lila can’t wait to show you her ballet moves. She is playing mouse number three in the Nutcracker this year.”  
“I can’t wait to see.” We arrive at the farm and am greeted with fervor.  
“We missed you, we missed you so much,” Lila hugs me.  
“It’s only been three weeks.”  
“Three weeks too long.” Laura replies, pulling Lila off of me.  
“Welcome back, Auntie Nat.” Cooper walks over to me, noticeably more subdued than his sister. He ducks his head and hands me a card, sheepish. “I heard your surgery didn’t go well, I’m sorry.” I pull him in for a hug and ruffle his hair. I sit down at the kitchen table as Laura moves around me, preparing dinner. Clint was with the kids in the living room, decorating the Christmas tree.  
“The kids are excited to go to the compound next weekend. It will be there first time.” I forgot Christmas was next week. It is already the 17th. There are stacks of Christmas presents in my closet that I purchased months ago. “I can’t wait to see what it looks like all decorated for the holidays. I imagine Stark will go all out.” I run my finger along the rim of the glass. “Clint was sorry he missed your mission to Oslo last week. The tacos you posted on Instagram looked great.” My joining of Instagram has been Wanda’s doing. Now, @BlckWidow, had amassed three million followers in just two weeks. “Cooper freaked out when he saw you had a blue checkmark, I guess that means something.”  
“Lila looks great in her recital, Clint showed me the video.”  
“Yes, we wish you could have been there.” I take another sip of my wine. I think of Oslo, the failed surgery. I had told everyone else not to get their hopes up, but I forgot to convince myself of the same.  
“Nat,” I look up, Clint is crouched down next to me, “You zoned out a bit, you okay?” I nod and force out a smile.  
“Great, let’s eat.”

  
“Go talk to her,” Wanda hisses outside my room. It’s Sunday afternoon and Clint and I just got back from the farm. The bedroom door opens, and Bruce is shoved in.  
“Hey Nat,” he stands awkwardly by the now closed door. “Wanda and Clint are worried about you.” Great, Clint’s in on this too.  
“I’m good,” I sign, accompanied by a double thumbs up.  
“They don’t think you are, and,” he trails off. “You just haven’t been acting like yourself,” I stand up and walk over to him. Acting like myself? I’ll show him. I grab Bruce’s shirt and push him onto the bed. I kiss him passionately, rubbing my hands up and down his body. Just as he gets into it, I pull away.  
“Better?” I snap, ignoring the intense pain radiating through my throat. I spin around and go into the bathroom, slamming the door behind me. I collapse onto the ground in pain and spit blood into the trash can. I fumble through the medicine cabinet and dry swallow four Advil. After a sufficient amount of time, I open the door. My room is empty once again. I grab a duffel and begin to shove clothes in. I need a break from the compound, from this life. Get away from this place. I’m being smothered. I gasp in surprise as Clint drops from my ceiling.  
“What the fuck, man?” I sign.  
“You aren’t leaving,” he begins to empty out my bag, putting away the clothes carefully. “You don’t get to run away.”  
“You did,” I argue.  
“That isn’t the same, it was dangerous for me and the team.”  
“How did you know I was leaving?”  
“I was walking through and saw you through a grate,”  
“Tony will kill you for being in the HVAC system again. He hasn’t forgiven you for that Christmas where you fell through and ruined the tree.”  
“You’re changing the subject.”  
“I need a break.”  
“What about Wanda?”  
“She’ll be fine. She was fine for seventeen years before I came along, she’ll be fine now.”  
“You can’t abandon her, us. Where will you even go? Do you want to go to back to the farm for a few days? Visit Pepper in California? Fury in DC? Sam in the Middle East? You don’t get to abandon the family though. You’re the one who has always fought so hard to keep us together.” I wave him off. Whatever. “Also, what did you do to Bruce? He is shaking like a leaf,” I feel a blush rise up to my cheeks.  
“We argued. I won.” Our cellphones both ding. I look down. We are being called out to England. This will be Clint’s first group mission since he’s come back. I see his face pale. “It is going to go well,” I place a hand on his shoulder, forgetting our argument. I change into my catsuit and meet the rest of the team on the Quinjet. Banner won’t look at me.  
“Alright, ready?” Steve pulls the jet up. Within three hours we are in London. The jet lands in the street where I spot Thor already fighting some type of robot.  
“Woah, what is that thing?” Peter asks, unbuckling and getting ready to go.  
“Just don’t get too hurt, kid.” Cap warns as he drops the door. This is his first mission without Tony.  
“Nice of you to join me,” Thor growls, shooting electricity at the drone.  
“Is this a Scrappy Doo situation?” Peter asks. We all stare at him, “You know, in that really old Scooby Doo movie where Scrappy is inside the robot?” He looks to Clint, “You know, the scene where Velma gets a makeover makes her look kinda like your wife,”  
“Kid, focus!” Cap yells, charging the contraption. I run forward and launch myself forward. I land on the shoulders of the thing and try to rip the head off.  
“Shit,” Wanda yells as two more appear.  
“Don’t let Cap hear you Wanda,” Clint teases.  
“That was one time,” Steve grumbles. In the corner of my eye, I see Clint get hit. I press number three on my bracelet,  
“Guys, Clint’s been shot.”  
“I hate that Tony made that a button,” Clint groans, putting pressure on side, “I’m fine, let’s keep going.”  
“Bruce, if Hulk could join us that would be great,” Steve suggests. I hear the signature moan and jump off the robot just in time for Hulk to smash it.  
“You good Nat?” I jump onto the next robot and manage to cut off the head, exposing the inside. I quickly take my widow’s bites and electrocute the exposed wiring. It begins to smoke, and I feel myself launched back, hitting a wall. This was going to put me out of commission for the rest of the fight. I try to lean back but feel myself blocked from doing so. I feel a twinge if pain. Something it is protruding from my back. Thankfully, there is only one robot left. I scan for Clint and see him fire an electric arrow, hitting a chink in the armor. The thing implodes, better than the explosion I experienced.  
“Nat, we can’t see you.” I look at the shrapnel embedded in my leg and think of my back. This is going to hurt. I pull myself up using a piece on concrete as support. I click the second button on my wrist, Hulk lullaby. Hopefully my voice will be enough.  
“Holy crap, how are you walking?” Peter gasps. He is clutching his arm and I see blood leaking through his fingers. “Don’t worry about me, I heal fast.”  
“Jesus Nat, let’s hope taking out these things was worth it.” Clint has wrapped his side in what looks to be a tablecloth from a nearby restaurant. Where’s Wanda? I spot her standing with Cap by the jet. Relief soars through me.  
“Hey guys, sorry I missed the fight,” Tony lands down next to me. “Ironwoman,” he looks the shrapnel.  
“I’m fine, let’s get out of here. I hate England.” I look to Clint, “You look pale,”  
“Thanks, blood loss does that to a person.” Bruce comes out from behind a building and starts running when he sees me.  
I wave him off and nod him in Clint’s direction. I limp over to the jet and sit down on my seat, leaning forward to not push the metal further in.  
“How are you still awake? This must hurt so bad,” Wanda whispers.  
“I think I may be in shock,” I type.  
“We have to take those out before they cause an infection, there is probably so much dirt on there.” Bruce is finishing stitches on Clint. “Bruce, you have to do something, Nat is going to get tetanus or something.” He walks over and looks at wounds.  
“Don’t put me under. Use local anesthetic.” I finger spell for Wanda who relays the message to Bruce with some trepidation.  
“I am not doing this on a plane. As soon as we land, we’ll prep for surgery, are you okay until then?” I give a terse nod and Banner moves on to Peter.  
“At least you brought some metal for us to analyze,” Tony wanders away from the controls of the ship, leaving it to autopilot. “It is looking nasty,” he looks down at my thigh. His attention moves to Wanda, “Good job taking down one of those robots, kid. I’m sure you will be the talk of the school on Monday,” Wanda blushes.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone, chapter 8! I'm thinking of making this a series I've noticed the later chapters i have lined up start to diverge from the main story line. Thoughts? Anyways... here you are! Enjoy :)

“Nat, please sit still. The briefing can wait five minutes,” I purse my lips.  
“Anyone who says doctors are bad patients have never had a Natasha,” Clint jokes. I flip him the bird.  
“Cap, please leave. She’s going to keep trying to brief you until you do,” Banner sighs wearily. Cap leaves but Wanda enters. “Do I need to lock that door? I am operating!”  
“You are taking a piece of metal out of her, not performing brain surgery.”  
“Wanda!” Clint chokes on his water.  
“Sorry, that’s what Nat was thinking, I could feel her asking me to say it.”  
“Well thank you, Wanda for relaying the message. If this metal had been two inches to the left it would have severed your L2, wouldn’t be so funny then.” This sobers up Clint and Wanda. “Done. Please just at least take it easy for a few days. No running into burning buildings or sparring with Steve. After Christmas, you are free to do whatever you want.”  
“Nat, we have such a full schedule this week, that shouldn’t be too hard.” Clint adds. I think of all the things that could go wrong this week, events the Avengers will be needed for. “Someone robbing the Amazon warehouse would be the worst thing to happen this week, and that can be handled by regular old cops. Relax, Tash. It’s Christmas.”  
I am standing in the kitchen drinking tea when Tony enters.  
“What are you doing up? Its three o’clock in the morning.” I could ask him the same question. “Actually, I’m glad you are we need to have a little chat.” He sits down on the couch and pats the spot next to him. “I watched playback footage of that fight today. You were reckless and stupid. Throwing yourself at the robots with reckless abandon was not cool. Work on your self-preservation. I say this as not just a teammate, but a friend. You need to be more careful.” I shocked by the openness of Tony right now. “You are going through a rough time, I get that. Know that we’re here for you, okay?” I take a sip of my tea, avoiding eye contact, “And in case you were wondering why I am up, I had a great idea in a dream. I have to order the stuff now so it will get here in time for Christmas.” He pulls out his tablet, “That is all, Widow. Goodnight.”

I stand outside the Children’s hospital on Wednesday. Almost the entire Avengers team is congregated outside the entrance. School just got out for winter break and the kids came straight here to meet us, Peter in disguise. Tony drags a giant sack of toys behind him.  
“Aright guys, remember no stories that are too graphic, we don’t want to scare the kids,” Cap says pointedly, looking at me. I make a locking of the lips motion and throw away the key.  
“I’m way more worried about Spidey revealing to a kid who he is. ‘Spider-Man can I try on the mask?’ ‘Of course!’ The NDA I needed to draft up last time... Natalie from Legal would have been helpful.”  
“It was one-time Mr. Stark!” Peter whines. A handful of doctors come out to greet us, leading the team into the building. We are brought up to the common area where there are children playing.They all start screaming when they see us, clamoring forward to get a picture and a toy. I look to Wanda, making sure she is under control. This is a lot of stimulation. I am surprised to see she is smiling and crouched down next to a little boy, making his action figure fly through the air. With the throngs of kids surrounding us, it is easy to notice the outliers. A little girl is sitting in the back of the room on a couch. She has on pink pajamas with puppies on them. A knit white hat hides her bald head. Her mom is sitting next to her, trying to get her to come over. Unnecessary, I’ll go to her. I slip over and crouch down in front of her with a smile and a little wave.  
“Sorry, she didn’t want to go over with the other kids.” I cock my head, “She had surgery last week, throat cancer.” Oh, I understand. I unzip the high neck of my new catsuit, the one I have been wearing since the incident in October. The pink scar runs across my throat. The girl leans forward, eyes wide.  
“I’m Natasha,” I mouth and sign, “Nice to meet you,” the girl looks to her mother, excited. She whips out a white board and I read her third grader scrawl.  
“I’m Penny. You’re like me?” I nod and pull out my phone.  
“I got hurt a few months ago, now I can’t speak. It isn’t so bad.” Siri reads.  
“But you’re an Avenger,” she writes back.  
“I don’t need to speak to be an Avenger, I just need to be me.” I reach into the bag of toys Tony gave me to hand out and pullout an iPad. “Here, Siri helps me a lot. She’ll help you too.” The girl grins. After taking photos, her mother pulls me aside.  
“Thank you, this is the first time she has smiled in months.” I place my hand on her shoulder and squeeze.  
“Sign language is a huge help too. It makes me feel less isolated,” I offer, Siri reading it out.  
“Thank you,” the mother engulfs me in a hug. I resist the urge to pull away. I see Tony smirking at me from the other side of the room. Thankfully, Penny’s mom pulls away and I am able to walk back over to the rest of my team.  
“Looks like you’ve got a fan,” Clint nudges me and I see Penny is now holding a new Black Widow action figure.  
“She just lost her voice too,” I explain.  
“Kindred spirits.” I nod, biting in lip. Poor girl.  
“You ready for the Christmas gala?” Tony appears beside me and Clint. “I’m sure there will be plenty more hugs for you, Nat.” I glower. “Here I thought you were getting soft on us.”  
“Ready to go, team?” Steve walks over.  
“Let’s get out of here before Nat attacks Tony in front of the children.”

“This is way too last minute,” Pepper titters as Wanda and I browse through gowns at Saks, “We will never get them tailored in time.” We sit in a private suite as dresses in our sizes are brought in on racks. “I got mine months ago, what were you two thinking?” Pepper begins combing through the dresses. “What are they thinking with red dresses? I know it’s a Christmas party, but have they seen your hair?” Pepper turns to me. A stylist rushes in, followed by a flock of assistants.  
“We are so happy you have chosen to shop with us,” the stylist smiles generously, “We will do everything we can to make sure these dresses are ready by tomorrow night.” A half hour later, and I have tried on six dresses. The stylist keeps grabbing different cuts. I look to Wanda, allowing her in.  
“She wants you to know you will never find a dress to hide all the scars.” The stylist’s face turns crimson.  
“Sorry, I thought you would want them covered,” I slip out of the current dress and into a bathrobe. There are still a dozen dresses left to choose from. I grab a forest green silk gown with off the shoulder straps and an open back. The dress’s neckline stop just below my collarbone. Three of my five current scar are visible. I dare the stylist to say anything. “We will get this hemmed and ready for you by tomorrow.” I nod changing back into my regular clothes. Wanda’s dress hunting was easier, she picked a gorgeous red A-line gown.  
“She was a bitch,” Wanda finishes lacing up her boots.  
“Don’t do anything to her,” I cast a weary glance at Wanda, I don’t have the energy to argue with her right now.  
“Let’s have lunch and if you are still feeling bad after, you can write a scathing Yelp review, Pepper offers. We sit down at a sushi place around the corner called Hatsuhana.  
“It just wasn’t right, her deciding for you.” Wanda reasons, stabbing her sashimi.  
“She couldn’t have known. A lot of people would want them covered up. They will be gone in a few months. I’m not too attached or concerned.” I sign and mouth the words at the same time, hoping they get the gist. I am sick of typing.  
“What do you mean they will be gone? Did I get that right?” Pepper asks.  
“My scars will be gone by this time next year, except for the one on my stomach.” I think of the gift from the Winter Soldier, Bucky. The bullet had gone straight through me, it has begun to fade, but at a rate much slower than I had ever experienced. “I was experimented on, like Steve.” I nibble on a California roll, not wanting to see the look on Pepper’s face.  
“Oh Nat, I’m so sorry.” Pepper reaches across the table to grab my hand. I pull back, and grab the desert menu on the table to hide my rudeness. My discomfort. I force out a smile.  
“So, are we going to try that coffee jelly for dessert? I heard it is delicious.”  
We arrive back at the compound and are looking at hairstyles to go with our dresses when I hear my name mentioned on the TV. We hurry into the living room where Clint is watching TMZ, he rushes to turn it off, but I stop him.  
“Black Widow- now silent? Sources are confirming that the Avenger was seen shopping today with Pepper Pots and the Scarlett Witch and was seen using sign language. A scar could be seen on her neck as she exited Saks on Fifth Avenue today,” A zoomed in shot of my neck shows the scar, bright and irritated from the cold. Then, there is a video of me signing in Hatsuhana. “We have to ask, what happened to the Black Widow? How long ago did this occur? Is she still a member of the team? We will let you know as this story develops.” Clint clicks off the TV.  
“Nat, you good?” I nod and put down my sandwich.  
“I’m going to go back to my room.” There is a knock on the door, it is Tony. Two heart to hearts in two days. Lucky me.  
“Hey Red, saw the news.” I look up from my laptop. “This can’t be easy on you. You’re being picked apart by the media, trust me, I know it isn’t easy. Remember when I had a public breakdown?” He doesn’t wait for me to respond, “Anyway, if you want to skip out on the gala tomorrow, no one will hold it against you.” I shake my head and shove the computer at him. “You want to send this out?” I pull my computer back to me, “I’ll have Pepper issue the statement, email it to her.” Ten minutes later, a screenshot of my letter has been posted to the Avenger’s Twitter.

_To whom it may concern,_

_I understand many of you are concerned for my wellbeing. Aside from my inability to speak, I am happy to report I am in good health. This past October, I was attacked on a mission and has my vocal cords severed. Many doctors are working hard to try and repair them. Thank you for your thoughts and prayers. Happy holidays._

_-Black Widow_

Pepper had replaced “Please mind your own business” with the thoughts and prayers bit, but other than that, they were my words, the sentiment was there.

“Natasha, are you almost ready?” Clint yells. He is anxious for this night to be over; his family will be arriving around midnight tonight. I step into the hall spot Steve rushing through, bow tie undone. Sam is also in the running by, returning late last night from his mission in the Middle East.  
Finally, all Avengers are assembled in the living room. We climb into the limos and make the drive to New York City. Outside the New York Public library, paparazzi have gathered. Clint, Wanda, Banner, and I are in one car. In the other are Steve, Rhodes, Tony, Pepper, and Peter. Peter of course, arriving as Stark’s new protégé, not Spider-Man.  
“You know, you’ve been the talk of all the gossip sites,” Clint teases.  
“Why do you even read those?”  
“Lila loves them, and she likes when I keep up with it.”  
“At least no one will ask me any question tonight,” I lean back in my dress.  
I was wrong. I most definitely get a slew of questions. A sign language interpreter in the form of Wanda was requested. Not Clint, as no one was aware he was deaf and he didn’t even want part of his cover to slip, he was wearing mini hearing aids tonight that don’t work nearly as well as his usual ones. Wanda fumbles along, still new to the language. I try to let her just read my thoughts, but she hates doing it. She says it makes her feel dirty. Instead, she perseveres. We stand together in our red and green dresses, looking like a matching pair.  
“Is it true that Natasha became your guardian a few weeks ago?”  
“Yes,”  
“Aren’t you only a few years apart?”  
“Don’t you know it’s rude to ask a woman’s age?” I reply hotly, Wanda translating.  
“Black Widows hands are as sharp as her tongue,” the reporter smiles cheekily. I wait for the signal from Tony that we can be done being monkeys for the press.  
“Are the rumors true that you are currently dating Dr. Banner?”  
“Oh, I wish,” Bruce appears beside me.  
“You and every other man in America.” I sign, playing along. I can almost feel his desperation coming off in waves. I’m sure Wanda is drowning in it.  
“All right everyone, we should really head inside, children’s literacy isn’t going to fund itself.” Tony signals for us to go into the library. Finally, we can relax, a little. Inside are former SHIELD members who weren’t part of Hydra, wealthy businessmen, and celebrities. I spot Elon Musk flagging Tony down. I slide behind the bar and start making drinks, happy to listen to conversations rather than participate in them. I’d been undercover as a bartender enough times to be quite good at it. Bruce appears in front of me.  
“Fella done you wrong?” I hand him a bourbon and move down the bar to Tony and Pepper, ignoring his attempt to recreate an evening that feels a lifetime ago.  
“Hi Red, hope we are paying you for this.”  
“You bought my dress,” I sign. He gets the idea. Buy and dress are pretty self-explanatory signs. I spot Clint in the corner, talking to Rhodes and a few others. He is telling an archery story, talking with his hands so emphatically that I almost know which story he is telling.  
“The kids to table looks like a lot of fun.” Tony nods over his shoulder. I gasp at the sight and resist the urge to run over. Wanda, Peter, and their friends are all floating a few inches off the floor, trying to keep a deflated balloon from hitting the ground. “It’s good she’s having fun with her powers, Nat. It’s good for her to see they are for more than just destruction.” I try to push down my worry, but I can’t help it.  
“You’re a good mom,” Pepper comforts. I wrinkle my nose, “You are, you’re doing a good job taking care of her, Nat. She’s lucky to have you.” The four kids float to the ground in a fit of laughs, crisis averted. Thor is having people test out his hammer to see if they can lift it, his favorite party game. Tony and Pepper leave the bar but are quickly replaced with Doctor Cho and Steve.  
“Hi Natasha, how are you doing?”  
“Good thank you,” I mouth.  
“I’m sorry our last attempt didn’t work, but I think in a few months’ time, we will be able to try again.”   
“Do you have any of that stuff from Thor?” Cap asks, alluding to the liquor he drank before Ultron. I shake my head. Though I do know what Thor got him for Christmas. The night wears on and I get bored of games. Nothing exciting happens, aliens or assassins do not attack us. It is an amazingly normal party of wealthy and powerful people.  
“You look like you’re waiting for the other shoe to drop,” Clint appears beside me,  
“I am.”  
“It won’t.”  
“It always does.”  
“You’re going to have to let yourself be happy at one point, Nat.” I scan the room, looking for any sign of a threat. “Please, relax, everything and everyone is fine.” It is after he says this that something bad is supposed to happen. Someone should come flying in through a window, instead, the party carries on. “Let’s head out, Laura and the kids will be arriving soon.”  
“Nat, are we leaving?” Wanda appears beside me, her eyes wide.  
“I am, you don’t have to.”  
“No, I’m tired. I want to go home.”  
“Quite a show you put on over there,”  
“Yeah, it kind of wore me out, that was a lot of control to exert over my powers.” We climb into the limo and head home. It is nearly midnight when we arrive back at the compound, and as soon as we do so I spot a quinjet landing.  
“They’re here,” Clint barely waits for the car to stop. Laura Barton emerges from the jet with a sleeping Nate in her arms. Lila appears from behind, half asleep, accompanied by Cooper. “Hey guys, merry Christmas.” He gives Cooper a hug and picks up sleepy Lila.  
“Hi honey,”  
“Hi babe, I missed you.”  
“Ladies, sorry we missed the party.” She smiles at our dresses.  
“You look like princesses,” Lila murmurs into her father’s shoulder.  
“I’m so excited to see everything,” Cooper fights through a yawn.  
“In the morning, I’ll take you on a tour, for now, it’s time for bed.” Clint’s suite is different than the rest of ours in that there is a second bedroom with a set of bunk beds and a crib. I saw that Tony has a second set of bunk beds in storage, fully anticipating the arrival of a fourth Hawkling at some point.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some light, happy, domestic Avengers fluff, Christmas party and happiness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please enjoy! Any feedback is welcome :)

In the morning, I am awakened by the smell of pancakes and bacon. In the kitchen, Tony is cooking. For the first time in a long while, everyone is here. Happy, Rhodes, Pepper, Peter and his Aunt May, and Sam are all here. Thor is here as well. This brings the count to 18 people on the compound. The dining has doubled in size overnight to accommodate all of us.  
“Good morning Miss Romanoff, nice of you to join us.” Tony hands me two pancakes and I sit down with about ten of the current visitors.  
“Auntie Nat, did you know there is a garage with sixteen cars,” Cooper slams down his cup of juice.  
“Did you know two of them are mine?” I ask.  
“Woah,” Cooper sighs.  
“Daddy showed us the training room too, he said you kick his ass in there every day. Then Mommy made him put a quarter in the new swear jar in his room. We already have five dollars in it.”  
“Lila, you said a swear,” Laura points out.  
“But it was to tell Nat what Daddy said,”  
“Don’t let Captain America hear you swear, Lila. He is worse than your mom.” Tony grins cheekily.  
“It was one time more than a year ago, can we please drop it?” Cap groans, looking up from his newspaper.  
“Woah, you still read newspapers?” Peter comes around the corner in pajama pants and a T-shirt.  
“A tablet just isn’t the same.” He argues, “What is this, Pick on Steve Day?”  
“No, it’s Christmas Eve,” Lila tilts her head, taking the question literally.  
“Vision, please go wake Wanda up, she is going to sleep through breakfast.” Vision appears a moment later, dragging a sleepy Wanda behind him.  
“It is holiday, let me sleep.” She yawns, I catch her eye, “Sorry, it is a holiday.”  
“We have to take a Christmas card photo of all the Avengers, and then one of all of us,” Tony explains.  
“We are doing a Christmas card photo?” Peter grins.  
“Of course, it will go on Instagram and Twitter. The family photos just for us,”  
“Stark, are you being sentimental?” Steve closes his newspaper.  
“This is a good day, we’re all together. I want to have a picture to commemorate that. Sue me!”   
“I think that’s very sweet, Tony,” Clint laughs.  
“Stop,” Laura lights slaps Clint’s arm, “Tony, that is very sweet. I think it’s a wonderful idea.” An hour later, we are all gathered around the fireplace. Each Avenger is wearing a either a Santa hat or reindeer antlers.  
“Tony, do I have to wear these infernal things?” Thor asks. When he shakes his head, they jingle. “I am a god, this is humiliating.”  
“If I have to, you have to.” I gesture to my matching antlers. Tony grins, the snowball on the end of the Santa hat falls in front of his eyes.  
“Okay, on three, everyone say cheese,” Pepper holds up her phone, “One, two, three,” Peter takes off his mask and we all crowd together. “Okay, I set the photo on a timer, we have fifteen seconds,” All eighteen of us crowd together.  
“Has it gone off yet?” Clint asks.  
“How long is fifteen seconds?” Peter adds. The flash goes off. Pepper sets to work putting out the official Christmas card while the rest of us break into smaller groups. I get a notification, tagging me on Instagram. This is in addition to last nights photos that Wanda tagged me in with Peter. Her favorite, she stated, was the one of her, Pepper, and I posing like we were about to drop an album. She had called it _memeable_.  
“Nat, come join us for Monopoly,” Wanda waves me over. Let myself be happy, that’s what Clint said. Today, that is what I am going to do. The day is filled with gingerbread house decorating, board games, and _Elf_. Christmas Eve dinner consists of copious amounts of pizza, followed by gingerbread cookies.  
That evening, once Lila and Cooper are in bed, we begin to gather up the presents under the Christmas tree.  
“This human tradition is very interesting,” Thor strokes his beard, “You pretend a man breaks into your house and eats your food, but instead of stealing he gives you presents. If you are bad, he gives you things to fuel a fire in your home.”  
“Basically,” Tony shrugs as he shoves coal into Steve’s stocking. The lines of stockings wrap around the entire living room. I go into my room and return with my boxes.  
“When did you have a chance to buy presents?” I think of the two weeks where all I could do was walk the grounds and shop online.  
“How many did you buy?” I spread them out under the tree.  
“You really do care,” Tony mocks. I punch him in the arm.  
“That is practically a hug,” Steve laughs. Clint is staring at me. I cast my eyes upward. He nods. Quietly, we slip away from the group and go onto the roof. He takes out his hearing aids and lets out a content sigh.  
“Why did you want to come out here?”  
“I could tell you did,” I sign back.  
“Sometimes, it can be a lot. Adjusting to hearing everything again.” I nod and look up at the night sky. “I’ve missed you.”  
“I haven’t gone anywhere,” I look over at him, his face is clothed in pain, “What’s wrong?”  
“You’ve just been in a bad place since it happened. I know you’ve tried hard to hide it,” he pauses, “I’m just glad you’re back.” I nod, moving my focus back to the sky. It is like we are young again, scaling rooftops in faraway places. The Avengers didn’t exist yet. Aliens hadn’t invaded Earth. Life was simpler, just assassinations. I can’t help it, I snort. “What are you laughing at?” he must have been watching me.  
“I was thinking about how our lives used to be simpler, just assassinations. And that is such a ridiculous statement.” Clint smirks.  
“All we had to do was kill and capture, the good old days.”  
“No one knew who we were.”  
“No kids to worry about.”  
“Just each other,” I nudge him.  
“Do you ever think of getting your own place?”  
“I have apartments,”  
“No, I mean for you and Wanda. A house or something.” The thought had never occurred to me. Since the compound was built, I never thought to live anywhere else. “It just seems like it gets lonely here. A lot of times, this place is a ghost town with everyone out on missions. Sorry, I just worry about you guys.”  
“I’ll think about it.” I rest my head on his shoulder.  
We head back down a little while later and the party is carrying on. I spot Wanda sitting by the unlit fireplace with Peter, deep in conversation.  
“You okay, Vision?” I ask, going up to the Android. He stands apart from the group, observing.  
“I fear that Miss Maximoff does not need me anymore,” he confides. _Oh_.  
“Vision, that’s called jealousy,”  
“I am not jealous. I just wish she was over here with me instead of with Mr. Parker.”  
“Jealousy, my friend. Don’t worry, Wanda doesn’t like Peter like that.” Vision looks away from me and back to Wanda.  
“Thank you, Miss Romanoff. Your words have provided comfort.” He walks over to Tony and Pepper. By midnight, the party begins to die down. One by one, people head off to bed. Soon, it is just me, Bruce, Laura, and Clint.  
“We’re heading to bed, see you in the morning,” Clint wraps his arms around his wife. The clock strikes twelve.  
“Merry Christmas, Nat.” I look over at Bruce. He holds out a box. I open it. Inside is a bracelet so delicate it looks like it was spun of spider’s silk, on it is a charm for each avenger, equally as delicate. “It’s made from platinum, so it won’t break.” He takes it out of the box and clasps it onto my wrist. I examine each charm. There is an arc reactor for Tony, a fist for Bruce, Cap’s shield, an arrow for Clint. A web for Peter. An hourglass for me. Thor’s hammer. A charm shaped like the mind stone for vision. Faceplate for Rhodey. A piece of red catches my eye. The only bit of color on the bracelet is for Wanda, a ruby shaped like a star.  
“This is wonderful and thoughtful, thank you Bruce. I love it,” I hold up the bracelet to the light. It is weightless and elegant.  
“I’m sorry, I will never be able to apologize enough. I was hoping, with this bracelet, when we’re all apart, at least some piece of us will be together.” I lean forward and kiss him. I hadn’t planned on it. It is soft and feels right as we melt into each other. I pull away, my heart pounding, air filling my lungs.  
“I should get to bed,” I stand up, “Goodnight Bruce, and thank you.”

* * *

At eight am, Lila and Cooper make the rounds, announcing that it is time for presents. They are banging pots and pans, walking up and down the hallway of the residential wing. One by one, we all pad out into the living room. Peter and Tony are wearing matching pajamas and one glare from the later informs me that I am to make no comments. Wanda smiles sleepily from the couch, her head rested on her knee. Though this was her second Christmas with us, the first was a disaster, it started with fighting Hydra, and ended with Clint losing his hearing. This is her first _real_ Christmas as a part of the family. We pass around the stockings, tearing through.  
“Very funny Tony,” Steve holds up his lumps of coal. Underneath are a packet of fridge magnets for swears. “One time, you guys are never going to let it go.” Most of the presents in the stockings are small and of similar ilk. Candy, makeup, and socks. Then we move onto the presents. It looks as though the whole mall had been purchased. After Bruce and I went to bed, more gifts were added. Boxes from the size of a mint tin to the size of a washing machine are scattered through out the room. Laura snaps pictures as the kids tear through the presents, and I bounce Nathaniel on my lap. Everyone finishing opening their presents and finally, there is only one left. It is for Wanda, from me. It is the present the size of a mint tin. On the tag is a date, _Wanda, December 27, Nat_. She opens the box. Inside is a car key fob. She turns to me and then back to the key.  
“You mean it?”  
“Your permit test is in two days. If you pass, you get the present that is sitting outside the front door.” She runs outside, her bathrobe flowing behind her like a cape.  
“Oh my God!” Everyone crowds around her to see. A deep red BMW M8 Gran Coup is in the driveway.  
“How did you afford this?” Clint asks, “Like we get paid well, but that’s a custom car.”  
“Remember when I went under cover as Natalie Rushman at Stark? Well, instead of benefits when I was hired as Pepper’s personal assistant, I asked for stock. Once the Avengers formed,” I trail off.  
“You really are a genius,” Clint laughs.  
“You’re just figuring that out?”

“Okay, are you ready?” Lila demands, looking at all of us. We nod. Wanda catches my eye, she is concerned.  
“I’m good,” I text her quickly, “Really.” I add.  
“Auntie Nat, no phones!” Lila reminds me.  
“Sorry,” I mouth and put my phone down, giving her my full attention.  
“FRIDAY, start the music!” The Battle, or what I grew up learning as Сцена, begins. Lila, playing one of the mice minions, does her dance. However, she is alone, and it is almost comical, as normally there are at least ten others on stage. The music ends and Lila is huffing. We break into raucous applause. She stands up and bows. “You all wait, next year, I am going to be Clara!” She marches over to the couch and sits next to her mother.  
“Who wants to watch a movie?” Tony claps his hands together, “FRIDAY, play _Rudolph_.” Wanda gets up from the couch and goes down the hall towards the suites. I look to Clint and he nods, taking Nate. I knock on Wanda’s door before opening. The witch is sitting on her bed, small sobs racking her body.  
“Oh, Wanda,” I climb onto the bed with her, pulling her in for a hug. I rub her back as tears wet my shirt.  
“I miss him,” she cries, “It’s not fair,” she pulls away.  
“I know, it isn’t fair at all.”  
“Rudolph was his favorite Christmas movie.” She frowns, “Once I got my powers, he called me Rudolph,” she hiccups and laughs at the same time, “because I glowed red like him.” She sits quietly for a moment before jumping up, “I almost forgot!” she yells. Anyone else would have been startled. She tears through her closet and returns a moment later with a crudely wrapped package. “Sorry, I’ve never really wrapped before,” she smiles bashfully. I tear it open. It is a picture of Wanda whispering something in my ear at the Thanksgiving table. I’m laughing. “I’m sorry, I know it isn’t as big as your present,” I go in for another hug and hold it for a few moments before pulling away.  
“It is perfect, beyond perfect. Thank you.” Tears well up in my eyes, I’m surprised by my own emotion.  
“I thought it would be good, with your other photos,”  
“It will go right on my desk,” I tell her. For some reason, this makes her even happier.

I drop the photo off in my room before returning to the group. The end credits of the movie are playing. Clint looks over at me.  
“We’re all good,” Wanda emerges freshly showered and takes a seat next to Vision, their hands intertwined. Everyone breaks up and begins to go their separate ways to get ready for dinner.  
“Where’d you get this?” Clint asks, examining my bracelet. I blush. “Oh, really? I thought you were going to treat him with nothing more than common courtesy.” I give him a light shove.  
“Oh, leave Nat alone, Clint.” Laura tickles Nathaniel.  
“If he ever hurts you again, I will kill him.” He assures me. I roll my eyes, but secretly, I am touched. By the time everyone is once again gathered in the common area, it is nearly three. Wanda, Cooper, Lila, and Peter are playing Trouble, and Wanda keeps manipulating the dice, so Peter gets a bad move, much to the younger children’s delight.  
“Oh my God.” Instinctively, I reach for the nearest gun. Many others also begin to reach for weapons. However, we all freeze when we see the scene occurring. Tony is down on one knee in front of the fireplace, while Pepper holds out her hand.  
“Is that a yes?” he asks.  
“It’s a yes,” she smiles. Tony pulls her in and twirls her through the air before kissing her softly. They turn around to face us, and Tony grins.  
“She said yes!”

Everyone crowds around the long dining table, chatter happily flowing. The food is a delicious catered meal. Ham, scalloped potatoes, and a multitude of casseroles are only a few of the items to grace the table.  
“And then, Wanda looked at Nat and I and deadpanned, ‘That’s what she said!’ I swear, it was so unexpected, we died laughing.” Clint roars. Wanda’s face turns bright red, but she’s laughing too. That was more than a year ago now, which doesn’t seem possible.  
“I was watching a lot of _The Office_ at the time,” Wanda explains, taking a sip of her water.  
“Wait until you see some of the videos I have, it is like a blooper reel,” Tony motions with his hand and a video screen projects, “FRIDAY, play ‘Avengers Greatest Hits’.” Instantly, a video starts playing. I am sitting next to Clint after the Battle of New York getting shawarma, when he makes me laugh and water comes out my nose. Next is security footage of the old lounge in Stark Tower. At first, there is nothing there but Mjölnir, however Cap enters the frame.  
“Oh no, Tony,” he groans. In the video Cap tries to pick up the hammer but fails. Then he makes a running start. At one point, he runs so fast that when he grabs onto the hammer, the momentum causes him to flip over. The scene cuts away to more security footage, this time of the lobby in Stark Tower. Suddenly, there is a crash, and something falls from the ceiling and the scrambles, quickly standing up. It’s Clint. The videos keep coming, and soon we are all laughing so hard we can hardly breathe.  
“Thank you, FRIDAY.” Tony waves the screen away. Dinner finishes soon after, as does dessert. It begins to get later, and once again individuals start to head to bed. Clint comes back after Laura and the kids are in bed. It is just me, him, and a bottle of wine. We go back to our spot on the roof, this time with the sense to wear coats and bring blankets.  
“Tony would kill us, we are drinking a $400 bottle of wine out of the bottle,” Clint takes a sip and I laugh.  
“It tastes better when you’re doing it wrong, like a sense of danger,” I tease.  
“The sweet taste of getting away with it,” he agrees. “It was a good day.”  
“It was the best, I wish I could live in this day for the rest of my life.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 9, doing fine! I honestly cannot believe how much I have written  
> Hope you enjoyed this light, fluffy chapter! I posted the first chapter of the prequel today too, despite not being done with this story lol, the third and final part of this series has also been started so clearly my thoughts are going in like eight different directions. Thank you all for following along! Any comments for what you would like to see in the prequel or part 3 would be much appreciated! Thank you :)


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi everyone! Sorry for the long wait between chapters (and that this one is shorter) i have been working a lot on the Wanda POV and on part 3! Please let me know what you think and what you would like to see in the final part of the series! Hope you enjoy!

“Why can’t I drive to school?”  
“Because you only have your permit,” I look up from my tablet.  
“But I know how to drive!”  
“It’s against the law to drive without a license,”  
“What are they going to do, arrest me?” She throws her arms up in the air, “I’m an Avenger, like ‘Sorry Scarlet Witch, we know you can fly a jet and save the world, but you cannot drive this car’. They wouldn’t,”  
“Wanda, you are not above the law, none of us are.” I lock my tablet and stand up, “Let’s get going or you’re going to be late.” Wanda pouts in the Porsche, frowning into her phone. I turn off the highway and we end up in a maze of backstreets. The neighborhood is quaint. It isn’t the world’s worst detour. A horrified shriek pulls my attention away from the pretty street.  
“Why am I here? What happened?” Wanda cries. “You see this, too right?” Her voice is panicked, she looks over to me, her eyes wild. I don’t know what she is talking about. “Why did you take this road?” she demands. “I need to get out of the car, I need to get out. Stop the car!” I quickly pull over. She jumps out of the passenger seat, the car barely to a stop. I watch in horror as she stumbles over to a tree and leans on it, hyperventilating. I walk over to her and place a hand on her shoulder. She spins around, eyes glowing red. However, they quickly dim to their normal blue.  
“What’s going on? Are you okay?”  
“Why did you take this road?” she repeats, her voice laced with pain.  
“The highway is under construction, it was a detour.” I sign slowly, unsure where this is going. Her eyes drift across the street. I turn to see what she is looking at. There is a yellow how with a white picket fence. “Do you know who lives here?”  
“I did,”  
“They moved?” I ask, waiting for clarification.  
“No, _I_ did.” She sits down on the sidewalk, “We did.” I sit next to her and see the date on my watch. January 16th. Today of all days I had to take this road.  
“You never told me it was a real neighborhood.”  
“I didn’t realize it was, not until now.”  
“We haven’t talked about it in a while. I’m sorry,” I look back to the house across the street. A year ago, today.

* * *

Cap went to one location, I to another. We were scared they were going to move her, so we acted fast. I went to an old banana bin factory while Steve checked out the basement of a hospital that was under construction. I stepped inside. There was a rotting dead body right near the entrance, its flesh covered in maggots. Around one of the interior doors, the long-settled dust had been disturbed. I killed two men quickly. Neither had the chance to react, the silencer doing its job. I rounded the corner and shot the guard outside of a stainless-steel door. He hit his head off the metal, and I moved quickly, hopefully before anyone behind the door could react. There was a single man in the next room, I fired a shot into the center of his gut and then his forehead. He sunk to the ground against the wall. Wanda is on the table in the center of the room, surrounded by medical instruments. I see a straitjacket cast off to the side, and a large needle. They were harvesting bone marrow. I approached the table, lowering my gun. I turned her over gently, onto her back. Her eyes faintly glowed red, and she stared back blankly, unseeing. The look in her eyes. Clint has described to me enough times what I looked like when he found me. Her bare body was covered in bruises. I force down the rage burning within me, a steady and calm mind was needed. I carefully removed the electrodes and collar. The burns on her neck and temples were in various stages of recovery.  
“Wanda?” I whispered. Her eyes flickered back to blue for a moment, before going red again. I looked for something to wrap her in. A blanket, a curtain. I grabbed a lab coat hanging off the back of the door. “Wanda,” I squeezed her hand, she squeezed back. 

* * *

The months following were hard, and not long after things began to feel normal again, my throat was slit. I run a finger along my scar. The girl in front of me is so far removed from that, it is hard to imagine them as the same person. Wanda stares across the street, her long dark hair hangs in a shiny sheet, almost to her waist. She has regained the weight she lost, her cheeks are fuller, her eyes not so haunted. She sleeps through the night most of the time, a victory I cannot tout myself.  
“I haven’t thought about it really. There has been too much going on, I guess that’s a good thing. Not having time to think,” she tears her gaze away from the house and plays with her shoelace. “I wonder if I ever went there again, if I’d come back. I don’t think I would.” Her body stiffens, like she expects me to reprimand her. When she realizes I’m not going to, she continues. “We were so happy, and it was all so easy. Like being stuck in a sitcom. Everything bad seemed like a nightmare, one I had woken up from long ago.  
“I wouldn’t blame you for not coming back,” I look at the yellow house, imagining the life she had there, “But I would miss you.” She sends me a wistful smile. “Is this why you wanted to go to high school? To try and have a little of this?”  
“I don’t know. Maybe subconsciously,” she shrugs and stands up, walking towards the car. I am happy to get off the cold sidewalk and follow. In the car, I blast the heat, trying to get rid of the chill. “I tried to go back.” She admits, refusing to look my way. “Right after it happened. I tried, but I couldn’t.” her words are heavy, like saying each one is the equivalent of carrying a ton of bricks. “Sometimes I think though, that I’m glad I’m not in that world. In a world with nothing bad, it is hard to measure the good.” She looks down at her backpack on the floor. I start up the car. “Nat school is in the opposite direction,” she turns around, looking as the city skyline disappears behind us.  
“Hooky,” I finger spell quickly with my right hand, keeping the left on the wheel. We drive for hours in a comfortable silence. I come to a stop. Wanda looks around.  
“Where are we?”  
“Some town in Connecticut.” She laughs.  
“This is ridiculous. I am missing AP Stats right now.” Her smile is huge, “It is ridiculous and perfect.” I pop open the trunk and grab a duffel bag. “How did you know to have an overnight bag?”  
“I always have one.” I shrug.  
“I don’t,” she looks shoulders her backpack with a frown.  
“Yes, you do, because really, I always have two. One for me and one for you.” I hand her one of the other duffels in my trunk. Hopefully, bag number three can remain there for the rest of the trip.  
We walk up to a small inn overlooking a river. After booking a room and handing over our bags, we head out to Main Street. The town is quiet, many of the shops closed for winter. A few brave the winter, one still has garland strung across the window. We step into a bookstore. It is empty, save for the clerk at the front desk. Wanda wanders the aisles. Her shoulders are hunched, brow furrowed. I pretend to browse for books as well, though truly I am watching her. She heads into the classics section and pauses at a shelf. She runs a finger along the spine of a book before taking it. She clutched the book to her chest and looks up at me.  
“You’re doing a bad job shopping for books,” she accuses.  
“I don’t need any new ones,” We go up to the register. The cashier gapes at us, and I stare him down, daring him to try and take a photo. I look down at the book I am paying for, Plato’s Republic. An odd choice. We go into a nearby cafe, sitting down for coffee and sandwiches.  
“My school doesn’t have a Valentine’s Day dance,” Wanda says suddenly, looking up from her panini. “I thought it would. They have a spring dance instead.”  
“You will have fun at the spring dance. We can go dress shopping, bring Pepper.” This doesn’t seem to satisfy her. “How about we take some pastries to go?” I head back to the table with two croissants and hot chocolate. We walk down Main Street, our feet sloshing in the melting snow. Each window display is just as well planned as the next. I am captured by the charm of the town. Wanda, however, does not seem to be. As we finish our hot chocolate and dessert, we come across a small park. A large white gazebo sits in the center. I take her hand and pull her towards it. I pull out my phone and place it on a bunch, playing light classical music. “What are you doing?” she frowns as I bow.  
“Giving you a Valentine’s Dance.”  
“It is January,”  
“I’m sure Saint Valentine won’t mind,” I reply dryly. I pull her in, and we begin to slow dance, her head resting on my shoulder. I can feel her tears soaking through my sweater.  
Suddenly the music changes and the Beatles’ “Twist and Shout” starts playing. I scramble to change it, but Wanda is laughing, hard. She pulls me away from my phone and grabs both hands, pulling them back and forth with the music, doing the twist. Wanda’s feet slip on some ice, pulling us both down. She is stunned for a moment but begins laughing again. It is light and happy, like a weight has been lifted from her shoulders.  
“Thank you,” She breathes. We stare at the slate in the roof of the pavilion as the last light of the afternoon filters in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short little chapter of Nat being a good mum! I really hope you liked it! Unfortunately, this part of the series is about to come to a close, as part three starts the first week of March in the story's timeline and we are on January 16th! Please let me know of anything you would like to see happen or any moments you think the characters need. Thank you all for sticking with my story!


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter for part 2!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This last chapter is tying everything up into a pretty ribbon before their entire lives are torn to shreds in Part 3, please enjoy! It isn't as detailed as my other chapters, but it is setting up for what is to come. Thank you all for sticking with the story and I can't wait for you to read the next chapter (pardon the pun) of Nat and Wanda's relationship

Wanda and Cap spar in the training room. The control over her powers had increased exponentially in the last year. I watch with pride as she lands a blow, sending Cap careening into the padded wall.  
“Okay, I think we have proven she can kick my ass if necessary,” Steve stretches, “Let’s be thankful we’re on the same team.”  
“Congratulations Wanda,” I hold out a certificate printed on computer paper.  
“Avengers Self Defense Course Certified,” she laughs. “Oh my God, you got everyone to sign it,”  
“Should we have bought a cap and gown?” Clint asks from the observation deck.  
“We already have a Cap,” Wanda replies with a grin. “Does this mean no more early morning combat training?”  
“Yes, no more practicing before school or in the morning on weekends. We all get to sleep in now.” It had been a month since we went to Connecticut. Life at the base had started to become normal, boring even. There were no major world catastrophes that needed to be attended to, for the time being the world did not need the Avengers.  
“Take a shower and meet me out front in half an hour.” I go up to my own suite to change into civilian clothing. Sure enough, half an hour later when I pull my Porsche up front, Wanda is waiting. Her hair is pulled up in a ponytail and she dances on her feet in the late February chill, trying to stay warm. “You could have waited inside,” I laugh. She gets in the car quickly, turning on the seat heater.  
“Where are we going?”  
“It’s a surprise.” We drive down to New York City. Wanda tells me about school with amazing detail. The hour-long trip seem to go by too fast, doubts begin to fill my head. We stop in front of a stone building on the Upper Eastside. I get out and hand my keys to the valet.  
“Why are we in Manhattan?” she rushes to keep up with me as we go inside. The foyer is gilded and grand. A bellhop nods hello as we go towards the elevator. “Nat, what is this?” She looks both nervous and hopeful. It is exactly how I feel. We reach the twenty-second floor. There are two units on this floor, I step forward and unlock 22A. The two-bedroom apartment is bathed with early afternoon sunlight. I had ordered furniture last week. There is a large couch and a dining room table, long enough to seat at least ten people. The kitchen island is big enough to seat six. Floor to ceiling windows overlook Central Park. I look over at Wanda,  
“What do you think?”  
“Is this your new apartment?” She looks around, running a hand across the top of the couch. I heard the real question though. I lead her down the hall and open up a door. Inside is a queen size bed and desk. On the desk is a cork globe like the one at the Avenger’s facility upstate, I painstakingly put pins in the same locations as the other. The eclectic collection of décor is from our various missions, acquired over the past sixteen months. “This is for me?” she looks around.  
“I thought it might be easier, instead of coming from Upstate every day. It’s only a twenty-minute subway ride,” She attacks me with a hug. I gasp at the impact but quickly hug back. “You did this for me?” she pulls away, her big eyes wide and filled with tears.  
“Of course,” I smile. “Come on, there is more to see.” I bring her around to the gym and library. “We will still be at the facility most of the time, but,”  
“This place is ours,” she looks around, still unbelieving. “Does everyone know?”  
“Yes, it was Clint’s idea a few months back.”  
We spend our first night in the apartment, getting takeout from a nearby Chinese food restaurant. Wanda explores the apartment, her joy radiating.  
“It isn’t so _starkly_ modern,” she jokes, taking her attention away from the movie, I love it.” She looks at the large windows and her smile vanishes. “That can’t be safe though, the windows. Remember in DC,” her eyes darken. I could never forget. Hearing on the news that a building in Foggy Bottom has been torn apart, glowing red. I had never driven so fast in my life, coming across the wreckage and carnage, bodies everywhere, Wanda no where to be found. The desperate rescue mission to save her as the remaining bits of the house threated to collapse.  
“I had all the glass replaced; windows reinforced. Exterior walls and doors also reinforced.” She still doesn’t look convinced. “Tell FRIDAY to enact No Place Like Home Protocol,”  
“FRIDAY?”  
“Hello Wanda,”  
“Enact No Place Like Home Protocol,” Instantly, sheets of steel cover all entrances and exits. The wainscoting on one of the walls flips open, revealing guns, knives, and other weapons. “Oh wow, okay. Thank you, FRIDAY, um, end protocol.” The windows are exposed once more, and the weapons disappear back into the wall. “I forget you’re even more paranoid than me,”  
“Where did you hear that? Who said I’m paranoid?” I joke. In reality, we are glossing over a harder truth, that neither of us ever truly feel safe.  
“We suffer so the rest of the world doesn’t have to,” Wanda whispers, looking over at me. “Tony told me that a while back,” she pulls the sleeves of her sweatshirt over her hands. I’ve noticed it as an unconscious habit, trying to hide her powers from herself.  
“Why don’t we get to bed? You have school tomorrow. I put some clothes in your closet,” I offer, grabbing the dishes off the coffee table.  
“Thank you, Nat. For everything,” she smiles at me and goes into her bedroom, closing the door.  
Wanda rushes into the kitchen in the morning, her hair still dripping from the shower. I hand her a cup of coffee and a plate of toast.  
“I ran eight miles this morning,” she huffs, chugging the cup.  
“Good job, and after school?”  
“I am going to meet you at the headquarters,” she finishes her breakfast and shoulders her backpack. “Peter is meeting me, I should run,” she dashes out the door, seemingly floating. A calm settles over my chest, and in that moment, for the first time in my life, I feel content.  
  
“We’re going on a class trip to Washington DC.” Wanda tells me as we spar. “I mean, can I go?” I nod. “I will be fine. Its not like what happened last time will happen again. I can’t destroy the same house twice,” she kicks out her feet.  
“You’re rambling,” I sign quickly.  
“I guess I’m a little nervous, I know I don’t have to go, but I want to. My friends are going.” She flips me over, and I kick my legs out, sending her to the ground.  
“Good move, don’t get cocky.” She groans.  
“I was so close, so close to winning.”  
“You will never win a sparring match against her, its best to just admit that to yourself now,” Cap leans on the railing over the observation deck. He hops down, landing nimbly despite the twenty-foot drop. “I’m heading out, Bucky’s been spotted in Portugal. I should be back in a few weeks, hopefully less.” His words are dripping with hope.  
“Good luck,” I nod to him. I want to stop him tell him it’s a bad idea to go after the Winter Soldier again, but its not my place. This is a journey of self-discovery for Steve alone. I wish Sam was going with him, but he was called back to the Middle East. I turn to Wanda once Steve leaves, “When is your trip to DC?”  
“We leave Thursday, come back Monday,”  
“Perfect,” I smile.  
“Perfect?” her eyebrows knit together. My heart leaps.  
“I don’t want you missing too many of your other classes,” I lie easily and pull my hair out of its ponytail. “I have a meeting with Stark, do you want to go start dinner? I’m sure Clint would be happy to have some help.” She jogs off towards the kitchen and I head down to Tony and Bruce’s lab.  
“Okay, so we are doing the surgery Friday, does that work for you?” Tony looks over at me.  
“Let’s hope it works this time,”  
“It will, we know it will.” Bruce assures me, “There are some other issues we have to work out, like if the artificial vocal cords become to worn down or need tuning.”  
“So, you are putting a guitar in my throat?” I confirm.  
“Where do you think we got the codename from?” Tony tosses a tennis ball in the air. “We will work on a more permanent solution, but this will fix the immediate problem.” He catches the ball once more and looks over at me, “What do you say, Red?”  
After dropping Wanda off at school on Thursday morning, I head north to prep for surgery. Scan after scan is performed. I think Bruce took my blood pressure six times. I pace all night, too anxious to sleep. In the morning, I head down to the medical wing. The harsh smell of antiseptic and cleaning supplies makes me nauseous. I lie down on the bed to be prepped.  
“You ready?” I nod, looking over at Clint who gives an encouraging smile. The IV in the crook of my arm releases the anesthesia. Within minutes, I am unconscious.  
I wake up slowly, feeling the effects of the drugs wearing off. The sun shines into the room, the surgery didn’t take long. Or it took too long and it has been days.  
“Hey, Nat,” I turn my head, eyes half closed. Clint reaches out touches my cheek, his eyes glistening with tears. Tony and Bruce impatiently wait behind him.  
“Hey fellas,” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahh! That's it, my first finished fic! Hope you all enjoyed reading as much as I did writing. Of course, this isn't the end of our favorite duo, there is much more to come in the prequel (it is only February 2016 it will continue until the first week of October where this fic began) and part 3 which will put our poor characters through the ringer.  
> Finally, as I am currently writing part 3 I would love an opinion- would you prefer it be in just Wanda's perspective or both Wanda and Nat's? Thank you all for sticking with this story and for the feedback I have received! -Carly


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